13 Steps
by Aries Vincere
Summary: When you've known someone for so long, how do you define love without crumbling everything around you?  Mordecai x Margaret, Mordecai x Rigby
1. Step One: The Lightbulb

_Wow, as I begin to type this fanfiction, you'll have to excuse me for stepping back in the past. I published my first story in 2004, which was a Teen Titans story, and I was quite the Teen Titan fanatic. My sixteen-year-old self was a little insecure, a little shy and a little out of his mind like most other sixteen-year-olds; writing was my way of encasing myself in a world that I created, expanded upon, and immersed my feelings in. This past weekend I found myself taking that nostalgic leap into memories, and I re-read several of my stories. Suddenly it all came back, in a flash of realization: I need to be writing again. I'm not sure if I'm going to finish old stories or keep them as is yet, but either way unfinished business is never truly finished. I'm looking forward to meeting a fresh new batch of authors and readers alike, and hopefully a few returning screennames that'll bring a knowing smile to my face. So without further ado, at twenty two, welcome back and I'll start anew. _

**13 Steps**, a Regular Show fanfiction.

_Step One: The Lightbulb_

"Dude, just kill it."

"No dude, wait. I like the way its wings flutter. It makes a cool sound."

_Seriously? 'It makes a cool sound?' It's just a stupid moth._

"Rigby, moths are ugly and creepy and...gray."

"I like them, even if they're gray."

"If you don't kill that thing, I will."

Picking up a tattered old magazine from under my bed, I rolled it into a cylinder and walked over to the part of the wall the moth had landed on. "Mordecai, st-," Rigby began to shout, but stopped as the magazine made contact with the bug, ending that annoying fluttering. I pulled back the cylinder and it dropped lifelessly to the floor. That was that. Glancing back at the coon with a grin, I felt it fade as an icy stare met my own.

"Dude, what's your problem? It was a bug. Just a bug. Now quit _bugging_ and let's play a game or something."

"I told you not to kill it!" he said angrily, his tail whipping back and forth violently as he spoke. "God, you always have to ruin everything!"

_Pft, here we go._

"Dude, chill, what's done is done. Quit crying about it and let's-"

"Argh, I hate you!" Rigby yelled and dashed out of the room in a hurry, slamming the door behind him loud enough to make me wince. That was Rigby for you, dramatic and over-reacting. Sighing I sat on my bed with a plop, staring into space. It was just a freaking moth, a MOTH, and that's the reaction.

It's not like I'm surprised though, I've known Rigby almost my whole life and the guy has never changed. I call him my best friend and sometimes I don't even understand why. By all means he's pretty annoying and selfish at times, but at the same time I couldn't picture my life without him. Most of my high school friend left this drillbit town for college or other pursuits, and I don't blame them, but I quickly realized I should have talked to more people while in school. It wasn't like I was a social outcast; I went to a couple parties, a couple dances, whatever, but people always lumped me together with Rigby. He was the first one I saw on the way to the bus stop, he was the guy trying to cheat on my math test, he was always the one on my team during P.E. All of this never bothered me, I mean hell, it was second nature.

But now, I don't know. I'm 23 and getting older, and want to experience more. I'd like to meet new people, see new things, but if Rigby was there would he screw it up for me? I can't even count the number of times he's pissed people off around me and embarrassed me. Whatever, I always forgave him.

Glancing to my nightstand, I smiled at the picture of Rigby and I making a stupid face to the camera at last year's Annual 4th of July Chili Cook-Off.

_We ate so much chili we stunk up the bathroom for days. Benson was PISSED._

It was gross but I couldn't help but laugh. For every stupid thing Rigby's done he makes me laugh and keeps my life interesting. He always rolls with the punches...literally. I don't know how many times I've slugged his arm playing punchies, his arm by all means should be one giant bruise.

_You know you treat him like crap._

That's not true...I give him a hard time, but he's my bro. He understands. Shut up Conscience.

_Yeah, just like he understood when you and Margaret started dating._

I winced at my own snarky comment, because it was true. Rig didn't take it very well when I told him I had finally been able to go steady with her. In fact, he gave me the cold shoulder for a while.

_He still does._

Again, true. But hey, that's selfish. I mean, I've done my best to give both of them my time. Rigby can't expect me to blow my girlfriend off every time he wants to play a game or run around town. We work all day together (which, honestly, isn't the traditional 9-to-5), don't I deserve a date night? Every time I try to make an outing with all three of us, Rigby always treats Margaret like crap and makes her feel uncomfortable. She's nothing but nice to him and he just blows her off.

_Jealousy._

Yeah, he's going to have to learn to deal with this. If he wanted a girlfriend he could try and date too. Shrugging off my internal conversion, I decided to go check on Rigby. He's probably catching his breath after destroying something as usual, predictable. I descended the stairs, and on the last step, I saw Pops round the corner, his round, enormous head bobbing to an old ragtime tune he was humming. "Oh hello Mordecai, isn't it just a beautiful day?" he gushed. That's what we all love about Pops, he makes you look at the world in a more innocent, carefree light.

"Hey, sure is Pops. Have you seen Rigby?"

The lollipop man tapped his chin in thought, then had a look of recognition. "Oh yes, actually I have. He came down about a quarter to tea time, saying he was going to go on a stroll in the park."

I chuckled at Pop's vocabulary, knowing Rigby would never speak like that, let alone go off on a "stroll". I thanked Pops and went outside, my eyes adjusting to bright sunlight filling the landscape tall pines in front of me. I already knew where Rigby would be, our little secret spot opposite the path that all of the locals take. I couldn't help but take a deep breath as I walked briskly through the pines, the clean mild air filling my lungs. I loved the park because it kept me sane, as boring as it was at times.

A few minutes later I spotted the old rotting log of a dead tree, and sure enough, a small brown furball sitting on the top. As I walked closer, I noticed he was hunched over.

"OK, Rigby, cry baby time is over, time to come home."

No answer. I was concerned then, because I expected his normal loud comment of retaliation. It was when I got close enough I heard the small sobs. Rigby...crying? The only other time I've seen Rigby cry was when he dad had died. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't alarmed.

"Dude, are you OK?" I asked with concern, and the sobs continued, like he hadn't even heard me.

"Rigby, answer me."

The raccoon looked up, tears in his eyes but a look of anger plastered on his face. "Shut up Mordecai."

The tone in his voice stung worse than the "Shut up" did. It stung HARD.

"Dude, what's your problem?"

"You. You're the problem," he said with spite, positioning himself so his back was facing me. "You think you can push me around and I'll just take it every time."

"You've never had a problem with me messing with you before, what did I do that was so bad?"

He grumbled as a response, then let out a yell, jumping off the log to face me. "I don't know Mordecai. Maybe it's the fact that you spend time more and more time with that robin now instead of me. And when we DO hang out, it's always something YOU want to do. I'm just a puppet to you."

"Hey, that's not fair," I said angrily, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. "You knew and still know how much I love Margaret, and you know you're my best friend, I mean we work together five days a week. I need my own separate life too. Do you expect to put my life on hold for you?"

"No, I just expect you to be a better friend."

That caught me off guard, especially because he was calm now, his voice hushed. I looked at him and he stared back, it was hard to even speak now, let alone stand there without trembling.

"I don't expect you to stop seeing Margaret. Did you ever think I'm afraid to make new friends? Look at me, I'm a short awkward raccoon. No one wants to talk with me or take me seriously."

"Hey, stop," I said trying to reassure him, feeling the anger leave my thoughts. "You're super funny and chicks dig that."

"Yeah, because soooo many women are jumping on the Rigbywagon," he laughed bitterly, waving his hand in dismissal. "You know I ruin any friendships I make."

"Not ALL of them; you've still got me," I smiled, trying to joke with him. He just sighed. "Look, let's just drop it. I'm hungry. Yeah. You wanna go get a Grilled Cheese Deluxe?"

He looked to the ground for a couple moments before nodding, walking towards me. I could have sworn he was about to hug me of all things, but stopped himself.

I didn't press it.

_Wow, I forgot how good it feels to bust out a chapter of a fanfic, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter to this amazing adventure. Thanks for reading, comments, critique and bribes are always accepted!_


	2. Step Two: The Close Call

**13 Steps**, a Regular Show fanfiction.

_Step Two: The Close Call_

"Player one, select your character."

I actually knew who Mordecai would choose. He always gets the shovel. Stupid pickaxes. Who the h uses a pickaxe to scoop dirt? You can't, gah! But wait - His cursor is moving to the...no, it couldn't be. He's choosing the pickaxe? Seriously?

Mordecai looked at me, noticing my look of shock, just nodded. "Hm. Hm."

"Dude, what are you doing? You could have the shovel if you wanted, you always do."

He just grinned, then looked back to the screen, and selected the crappier player with an electronic bing. "I'm gonna prove I can beat you with the pickaxe since you always whine about it."

I huffed at this remark, but I wasn't complaining.

_There's no WAY Mordecai thinks he can win with the pickaxe. It's-_

I understood in that moment, cursing myself silently. This was his way of trying to make up for the other day. I hated letting him see me cry, I felt so stupid all defenseless and alone like that. The only other time I can remember letting anyone see me cry like that was when my dad died when I was a kid. I promised myself after that day I would never feel pain like that again...at least out in the open. Mom was a wreck of course, even though she still had Don and I. Well, mostly Don.

_Don was the golden child. Everyone loved him and he didn't even need to try. Always so innocent, perfect grades, perfect career, perfect everything. "Come here and give me some sugar!" Bleh, it made me sick._

What did I care? I didn't, at all. It was easy to let people criticize me because I always criticized myself. It was easy to leave home at 18 because no one was there to try and stop me. It was easy to screw up because that's what people expected. I think, no, I KNOW it's better for the people around me to think so low of me. No expectations to live up to, no one to let down.

"Dude, Earth to Rigbone," Mordecai laughed, snapping me back to reality. "Let's go man. Start."

I pressed Start and I was determined to kick Mordecai's ass, even though I knew it was going to be a piece of cake. Chocolate cake.

"Rigby, I'm going to need you to work overtime today."

"Aw, what? Why?"

"Don't whine, it's not like I want to pay you extra, but it's a double party tomorrow and both booked more kids than we thought. I need you to get more chairs, and help decorate."

_This sucks. So unfair!_ _Wait a minute-_

"Why doesn't Mordecai have to help?"

"He requested the afternoon off weeks ago. It's a date thing, I don't know. Point is, you're available, he's not. Tough luck."

The scowl on my face said it all, I was beyond annoyed. "This is-"

I saw the gumball machine start to glow red and I knew I shouldn't have spoken. "Get going or you're FIRED!" He walked away angrily, like after most conversations we had, and I grumbled. Of course, the stupid birds were going out again, probably to another stupid concert with other stupid fans.

_You're just jealous._

"Shut up," I said to myself gruffly, under my breath. I would never admit it in the open, but I was. And it wasn't even about a date, or going to a show...it was the realization that I was becoming more alone every day. Was my fear of getting hurt eventually going to ruin my life?

_You're not mad at Mordecai. You're mad at yourself._

No, no, it isn't my fault. I'm protecting myself. Survival.

_You won't survive much longer like this._

I let out a frustrated yell, hearing it echo back to me softly among the trees. Silence. For the first time I actually felt like working, like getting something done. I must be going crazy. Sighing I turned east and headed for the shed, in a very casual pace walking upright. The late summer sun was starting to set over the trees, casting golden beams of light to cross through them. My dad loved nature and was actually a calm, collected man, Don definitely took after him.

Maybe I once did too. He used to take us on hikes and show us the different plant life that inhabited the forest; through my father's eyes the world was a beautiful place worth being explored. Life was simple back then, video games and long nights out playing tag punchies, eating ice cream and sitting on the warm cement with Mordecai laughing about things that never required a second thought.

"_Hey, dude?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_I was wondering, do you like any girls in our class?"_

_Twelve-year-old Rigby just blushed and the blue jay cackled._

"_Ha, I knew it."_

"_Shut up!"_

"_Who is it?"_

_The raccoon just kept blushing, turning away from his friend. "Like I'd tell you."_

_The avian just kept smiling. "Aw man, sorry, I was just curious. Just tell me."_

_Rigby looked back his friend and the alarms shrilled deep in his mind. How the hell do you tell a friend you had a schoolboy crush on him? He would laugh, or worse..._

"_Christy." Lie._

"_Really? Seriously?" the blue jay cackled again. He left the conversation at that but the raccoon spent the night wide awake hours later, his young mind reeling._

I shook his head softly, clearing my head of that sudden flashback. Not even a year later my dad would pass and life wasn't so innocent anymore, yet my best friend was there to comfort me as expected. Deep within myself, I couldn't understand the relationship Mordecai and I had. We were bros, nothing would change that, and I knew the difference between gay and straight. Well...I think. We were close and really that's what I valued. Maybe I wasn't meant to understand.

The chairs were easy enough this time around with no distractions. I looked to the other shed and knew those classic machines were in there begged to be played, but it wouldn't be fun without Mordecai.

_God I hate being this short._

Hanging those streamers high enough was a pain, if only I was a couple inches taller. If only, if only. What a stupid phrase. Still, I managed to accomplish the difficult task, my tip-toe skills were top-notch. I stepped back to admire my work just the last of the sun light's disappeared into night, the sky a blend of purple and blue haze. I heard the sound of an engine and turned around to see Benson in his golf cart driving swiftly to the picnic area, parking and getting out. "Wow Rigby, honestly I'm impressed."

I gave a weak smile to the gumball machine. "Thanks Benson. Now you can't say I'm not a good worker."

He rolled his eyes but nevertheless nodded. "It's a start. Maybe I should separate you guys more often; more would get done. Keep up the good work, you're done for the day."

_Maybe I should separate you guys more often._

As Benson drove off in a hurry I cringed at that line. Separate us? Benson wouldn't do that, would he?

"Don't be stupid," I said aloud, shaking my head. I was becoming too serious for my own good. The heat raised to my cheeks as I suddenly felt a rush of anger: Mordecai wasn't stressing like I was right now. He was holding HER hand, thinking of HER.

_I'm not even on his mind right now._

I was going insane with emotion, and it scared me that it was taking this effect. I needed to clear my head, I needed to do something STUPID.

I had never tried alcohol before, despite the many chances I had to being legal for more than two years. Mordecai and I never bothered because we always seemed to be able to entertain ourselves and laugh the night away anyway. It seemed like a weird thing to do without him, but how bad could it be? Would it take my mind off this stress?

The clerk at the store didn't ID me luckily, comes with being an animal I guess. Back in our room I sat on Mordecai's bed, the small bottle next to me. It was cheap, only if by the price. Didn't care.

_Try it._

Twisting off the lid the smell immediately invaded my nostrils, making me wince. This was powerful stuff and I wanted to back out. Then I thought of the birds laughing.

Maybe they were laughing about ME.

I tilted the bottle and the vodka invaded my mouth. I swallowed with a grimace, throating sizzling from the burn. I had never experienced anything like this, the sensation was a little painful but it cleared my mind of the dark clouds surrounding it. It was gross.

But I wanted more.

_I didn't initially intend for this story to turn the direction it did, but I wanted to experiment with Rigby further because I felt like my story would fall into a category I felt was too standard_.

_Just so my readers know, I'm going to be switching POVs every chapter, so prepared. Thanks for reading and your comments and critiques, and I am always open to ideas and thoughts. See you next chapter!_


	3. Step Three: The Martyr

_Just a quick note to my readers and reviewers: thank you very much for your input and ideas; it definitely means a lot and helps me grow as a writer. I apologize for the late update, but writing has to take a backseat to real-life when issues arise; I know we all understand that. Also just a heads-up, I'm about to cross over into "M" territory, so please take that word of caution so my conscience is cleared, ha ha. Enjoy!_

**13 Steps**, a Regular Show fanfiction.

_Step Three: The Martyr _

"_Margaret?"_

"_Hmm?"_

"_You never told me how your day went."_

_The robin's gaze met mine with an unreadable expression which contrasted with her intoxicating curves. Moonlight peered through her slitted window blinds, the rays giving her a glow that was nothing short of heavenly. She snorted with laughter unexpectedly, catching me off-guard. "Mordecai, we just had sex and NOW you want to know how my day was? Don't you think that's a little ridiculous?"_

_I sat up a little at her blunt remark, her satin sheets sliding down to my lap, red creeping to my cheeks. "Well, uh, tonight kinda felt...rushed, you know?"_

_That stare._

"_I'm not, like, complaining but-"_

_She gave out a long, dramatic sigh but was still grinning, shaking her head softly. "Come here," she cooed, and pulled me into another kiss, her warm tongue sliding along mine, renewed heat radiating from invisible waves. With that, I felt my inhibitions melt away..._

As the earlier memory came to a close in my mind, I found myself back in the present, like a black-and-white film that suddenly changes scenes into grainy color. Margaret was fast asleep, back to me, oblivious to the feelings she was causing me. I sighed, my gaze upon her open window, watching passing car lights illuminate the darkness. I should be asleep next to her, holding her in my arms, yet I couldn't sleep because my mind was racing a mile a minute.

For more than a year I had fought my shyness and doubts, figuring she would reject me if I ever gained the courage to ask her out. I watched as guy after guy caught her eye and each one would leave the picture after a short while. Deep down I knew in between those gaps of new lovers I could have made my move. For so long I ignored the medicine I needed and suffered from schoolboy crushitis.

Had she known all along? Did she wait for me?

It wasn't until three months ago, to the date, that she showed up to the park's rec house where Rigby and I lived, the night Benson had gone out of town and a party was planned behind his back. "Muscle Man invited me," she had said with a smile that night, a plastic cup in her winged hand. "I didn't know you guys actually lived here, you know, in the park."

It was wrong in a way, but one of the first things I noticed was she wasn't with arm candy...that's right, completely single and ready to mingle. Maybe it was the cheap beer, maybe it was courage that had slowly built up inside of me, but I found myself chatting with her more than a few awkward words. Actual sentences, actual conversation...it was awesome. Rigby had come and gone throughout the night, his moods rapidly changing like the flickering broken light in the dining room. That night I had thought nothing of it, if not for selfish reasons. Eventually a lamp shade had become his new headwear of choice; the beer had caught up with him.

"FIST PUMP! OHHHH!" he had screamed over and over, trying to get everyone around him to bump fists. Luckily Rigby had a certain tipsy charm about him and many of our guests happily obliged. Eventually he made his way over to us once more.

"Fist pump Margaret, yeah-uh!" he yelled, laughing and offering a fist to Margaret. She giggled and returned it, thinking it was hilarious. "Go Rigby!" she laughed, egging him on. The raccoon turned to me next, grinning ear-to-ear. "Mordooo, fist pump!"

I rolled my eyes, huffing slightly. He was taking away from my time with the robin and I wasn't exactly thrilled about it. "Yeah, Rigby, fist pump. Woo." My sarcasm was starting to show apparently, because Rigby's stare darkened. I looked away, wishing he would just leave us alone.

"C'mon, _Mordo_, give him a bump!" I turned to Margaret who was still giggling, waving me on with her wings. I sighed, deciding that if I wanted to keep my night and conversation with my crush going, I better give Rigby what he wanted. I folded my wing into a fist shape, holding it out to my best friend. Our fists collided softly, and I felt Rigby's icy stare, my eyes avoiding his. He didn't press it, and walked away in an eerily calm manner. What was his problem?

I turned back to the robin and smiled. She smiled back and moved closer to me, reaching out the rub my shoulder. "That was sweet of you Mordecai." She obviously hadn't noticed Rigby's weird exit, but maybe that was a good thing. "It was nothing, he's just being Rigby," I shrugged lightly.

She nodded, and I noticed her wing softly caressing mine until we were cupping them. I blushed, hard, my mouth getting dry, like it was stuffed with cottonballs. This only happened in those cheesy romantic comedies, where the guy makes the girl laugh and eventually they fall in love and...

"Mordecai," Margaret brought me back down to Earth. "Are you alright?"

I nodded back, forcing a smile. I held her wing a bit tighter, squeezing it softly. I could do this. I could do this. I could-

I leaned into her, my beak meeting hers, and in that moment my world shrunk down to two, any noise, image and color had disappeared in a flash and my heart was soaring at twenty thousand feet. It was broken too quickly, over as fast as it had begun, and our eyes met once again.

"Was that so hard?" Margaret suddenly asked, a small, playful grin on her face.

"W-What?" I stuttered, honestly not understanding.

"The kiss. I bet you've been wanting to do that _forever._"

I froze. She HAD known, all along. I knew I had been awkward around her, but didn't think it was enough to raise a red flag for all to see. I felt my body trembling, a mixture of excitement, embarrassment and hope enveloping my entire being.

Margaret seemed to notice my stone face and kept her warm smile. "Mordecai, it's OK. Really. I think it's kind of cute."

I felt a rush of red creep further into my cheeks. She was so understanding of my own stupidity, but maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought. "Really? You mean it?"

She nodded. "I wish you would have said something sooner, but yeah, I think you're a cute guy. I was waiting for you to make a move, and when you didn't, I figured maybe...there was someone else."

Someone else? Oh man, I was the biggest idiot on the planet. Damn my shyness around this amazing girl. "I'm sorry I didn't say sooner either, because there wasn't anyone else. I've, well, liked you pretty much the moment I met you in the coffee shop. Even in that uniform you looked stunning."

_Stay cheesy Mordecai. Oh brother._

She proved my conscience wrong by letting out another giggle. "I hardly think I'm pretty when I'm working but that means a lot. Look, I can't promise anything, but how about you and I go on a date next Saturday? I have it off and we could catch a movie, dinner, whatever."

A date. A real date, with the real Margaret. I mean, of course she was real, but it was- never mind, this was my chance I had been waiting for, hell, dreaming of.

"Sure, sounds like fun," I tried to remark casually, but my voice ended up cracking and betraying me.

_You sure puberty already hit?_

As I shushed my self-hating conscience, she lit up, genuinely happy. "Great! You can come pick me up at seven, you know where my apartment is, right?"

I nodded, still in a state of disbelief.

"Good. Anyway, I have a breakfast rush shift in the morning, so I have to go. See you soon, _Mordo_," she giggled, and walked off without another word. That was that.

* * *

It's amazing how incredible I had felt that night, a grin plastered on my face that couldn't have be broken by anyone. That first date had gone so well, and the couple ones after that, then the official title, then...

It was the life I dreamed of for months at night when no one was around, not even Rigby had access to my deepest desires. I looked over at Margaret's sleeping form again and sighed softly. This is what I wanted, right? Yeah. I mean, hey, she was the one that usually took charge and that was OK, I mean, she's strong-willed. She's planned all of our dates because she's good at picking places. She's the one who took my V-card. I trusted her.

Unfortunately, I knew sleep wasn't going to come here, so I carefully sat up and creeped to her bed, leaning down to kiss her head. "Good night." She mumbled something unintelligent in her state of sleep and I chuckled, watching her for a moment in the hall before closing the door as softly as I could.

* * *

It was a brisk night, the air still, and I cursed myself for not bringing a jacket. The warmth of the rec house greeted me and I let out a breath, free from the chill on my feathers. I carefully crept up the stairs, the creaking steps making it a difficult feat. It wasn't until I was at the top of the staircase that I heard a rumbling, steady and persistent. What the h was that?

My eyes darted from room to room. Quiet from Benson's room. Quiet from Pop's. That leaves-

The door to our bedroom creaked open with a whine, my pupils dilating to adjust to the darkness. The the corner of the room moonlight was pouring in and directly casting a shadow onto Rigby's trampoline. On top of it was a lump covered with a blanket, and it was then I found the source of the rumbling.

_Snoring. D'uh._

"Dude, you sound like a freight train," I laughed, and ripped the sheet off.

It was a couple pillows. What the?

"You sound like a dumbass," I heard a voice say with a slurred accent. I turned toward the voice and saw Rigby sitting on my bed, a huge smile on his face, though the first thing I noticed was it didn't look friendly. "How was your date, or should I say, fuck session with Maaaarrrrgaret?"

"Dude, not cool," I said, anger creeping in my voice. What was going on?

I walked over to him and he laughed, swinging his legs a little bit. "I'm so sorry bro, I could. Not. Resist."

I sniffed the air, acrid and sharp to my senses. It smelled familiar, but I couldn't quite place it in that moment.

"Rigby, what have you been doing?"

He just laughed again and shook his finger at me. "Nothing man, just enjoying some...me time." Another giggle.

Rigby never wanted "me time", he was always hanging out with _someone_. Something wasn't right.

As I shuffled to the foot of my bed my foot hit something and I heard a sloshing sound. That definitely wasn't normal. I bent down and felt around for whatever my foot had hit, and found it. Pulling it out, it was...

"Rigby, seriously?" I looked at the bottle of vodka and frowned. If he had drank with me it would have not been as bad, and he wasn't one to have hard liquor. Plus, I noticed grimly, half the bottle was empty.

"Yeah Mordecai, don't get mad, it's cool," he burped and laughed once again, amused with the whole situation. "I'm fineee."

I shook my head, not knowing whether to be angry or disappointed in him. It was embarrassing. "Rigby, not on a work night man, we have to be up early!"

He dismissed me with a wave of a hand. "I said I'll be fine. I'm tired. Let's go to bed."

I rolled my eyes. "Alright, get off my bed and get on yours."

He suddenly looked up, eyes wide and alarmed. "No, I can't, there's something...over...there." He pointed to the trampoline. "Please don't make me, let me sleep here!"

He looked afraid but I knew it was the alcohol talking. "There's nothing over there Rigby, so get off and GO TO BED."

At this he started whimpering, looking down. "Mordecai, please bro, please. Pl-"

"Alright!" I yelled, too exhausted to fight off. "Get in and scoot all the way over."

He hiccuped and smiled, crawling into the bed in almost an instant, looking at me with gratitude. I sighed and crawled in next to him, wondering if he'd even remember this in the morning.

"Good night, Mordecai. Th-thanks bro," he yawned, snuggling into my unused pillow.

"Night Rigby," I sighed, closing my eyes. I suddenly felt him a small arm around my waist and my eyes shot back open. My mouth opened to scold him but I heard the snores resume. It would have to wait until morning.

_Well, there's chapter 3 for you guys, I hope you enjoyed a past and present glimpse at what our heroes are working with. As always, comments, critiques and reviews are always welcomed. See you next chapter, where one of the two will die..._

_of embarrassment. Sorry, that was mean. Later!_


	4. Step Four: The Temptress

**13 Steps**, a Regular Show fanfiction.

_Step Four: The Temptress_

"You're listening to KROK 98.3, home to the best of the 80's! This next one is a request, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Cyndi Lauper, here on the 'Rok!"

"...Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one, but girls they want to have fun-un, oh girls just want to have-"

_._

My semi-conscious mind had informed my eardrums that Mordecai's alarm clock had gone off, but my eyes were refusing open and my head was pounding to the faint bass flowing in invisible waves from the machine beside me.

_Wait a sec, BESIDE me?_

My eyes flew open in an instant and I greeted to a view I wasn't used to. My trampoline, flat and empty, was striped by sunlight from the rays of shadows escaping our blinds.

_I'm in Mordecai's bed. Whoa._

I froze up like a statue, hoping I could carefully sneak away and beat these nerves that had control of me. I could just slip out and he would never know I was in his sheets, sharing his privacy. Yeah, it would-

"Ugh, shut up," I heard a voice say, and turned to see Mordecai stretching his wings, eyelids half-mass. It was too late now, I couldn't escape. Was he saying shut up to me? I wasn't even talking!

I watched his wing hit the power button with a forceful slam, ending Cyndi Lauper's crooning about girls wanting to have fun. He yawned loudly, scratching his side as he sat up, turning his head downward to look at me. "Morning dude."

My jaw dropped slightly in surprise. Why wasn't he freaking out and tossing me off his bed? Had he known about the booze?

"Morning Mordecai," I said quietly, unable to channel my usual tone of voice. Would I be able to apologize straight up or-

"I can't believe you did that last night, man," he sighed softly, interrupting my thoughts, shaking his head lightly. "I mean, I know you're jealous about all the time I'm spending with Margaret but-"

"Whoa, hold on, I'm not _jealous_," I lied, sneering. "I'm an adult, you know, I just wanted to enjoy myself. I can make my own decisions."

Mordecai just sighed again, waving a wing in dismissal. "Dude, you've never drank hard liquor before last night, I know this for a fact. Why the h would you start now of all times? What's fun about drinking alone?"

_I didn't want to._

"It was pretty fun, not that _you'd_ know. I watched some movies and pigged out on snacks," I said solemnly, wishing I wasn't sitting next to this bird who I had strange feelings for. I wanted to just run.

"By the way you acted last night, I wouldn't _want_ to know, Rigby. You were being a serious hole, and still are. If you have something to say, say it now while you're actually sober."

I could feel the anger creeping up on me, coursing through my veins. He was always treating me like this, talking down to me like I'm a child. Was I nothing more than a toy to him, something to have fun with then throw into the closet when something better came along? I remembered something my dad had said to me years ago: _Be your own best friend, because others won't always be there for you. _He was gone, but I finally found this phrase alive and relevant. He was right.

"I don't need you to spend time with me, Mordecai. I have other friends to go hang with. I'm not jealous."

_Maybe if you say it enough it'll actually be true._

"Whatever man, we both know you don't have other friends." He gave a knowing smirk. "Hm."

At that moment I would have rather taken a death punch from him than hear those words that stung my heart. I knew he was right, but to hear that from my best friend was too much to handle. He said it so easily, and it hurt to the very core of the relationship we had built for so many years.

"Stop talking," I said angrily, but in a surprisingly soft tone contrasting from my normal shouting. A lump in my throat told me what was coming next, and I would be damned if Mordecai saw me cry again. I hated him right now and wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"Dude, chill. We have to get going or Benson's gonna boil. By the way, don't ask to sleep in my bed again, that was weird."

I scampered out of the room on all fours before he could say anymore, thankful that he hadn't seen me breakdown once again.

* * *

I spent most of the work day separated from Mordecai, expect this time it was by choice. The things he had said were all true, but they hurt nevertheless. It was painfully obvious that I was becoming more and more isolated every day, from everyone and everything. Was this eighteen all over again?

No, I wouldn't let it be this way again.

The sun was starting to set and the breeze coursed through my unkempt fur, looking up, cursing as rain droplets hit the bridge of my nose, shivering. The clouds had been battling for control of the sky all day, pretty similar to my thoughts. I could never tell him the truth, not at the height of his relationship with that Capital S Margaret.

I grinned, thinking of all the guys she had gone through before ending up with my best friend. He foolishly tried impressing her time and time again, and deep down I knew that she knew exactly how Mordecai had felt about her because I was a witness to the whole thing every step of the way. Was it possible that the robin had played out so options that Mordecai was the only choice?

It was wrong, but it felt good to believe that. He wasn't so special. What did he have that I didn't?

_Social skills._

It was true I wasn't the best at making small talk and conversation, but at the same time I never had much to say. I was a do-er, not a talker. I lived my life the way I wanted, not to impress someone else. That was where I beat Mordecai at something.

* * *

Throwing the last of the garbage bags full of green waste into the dumpster, I exhaled, ready for the day to be over. Maybe I would sit by the fireplace and watch some TV by myself, keeping today's theme of No Mordecai into the night, when I saw the blue jay himself walking toward me.

"Hey dude, I'm done, are you?"

"Yeah," I replied curtly. "Are you surprised?" Truth be told I was surprising myself at the amount of work I was actually accomplishing lately, but I didn't want to be treated like a child once again.

"Kind of, yeah, but good job."

_I already have a boss, I don't need another._

"Thanks, I guess. Were you gonna tell me something?"

He nodded. "Yeah, that I have dibs on the TV tonight. I got a new game I wanna play by myself."

I rolled my eyes, huffing. "I'm surprised you're not going over to Margaret's. By the way, why can't I play?"

"She's working tonight, and it's a one-player game. Tough luck."

_What a jerk._

"Whatever, I didn't wanna play anyway."

Mordecai laughed sarcastically. "Sure, whatever." He waved and started walking back towards the rec house, dismissing me.

I stood there clenching my fists, in shock that he could treat me even worse. I bet this was payback for last night, trying to make me feel bad. I yelled out to no one in particular, venting my frustrations. I had to get out of this park, and a steaming hot coffee sounded like a plan.

* * *

I was greeted by warm heat entering the shop, closing the door behind me, leaving the chilly wind with it. Surveying the empty chairs, I saw one couple by the window and a lone guy on his laptop towards the back. For seven o' clock it was unusually empty, and I guessed the weather was keeping everyone in their own warm homes.

I took a seat near the waitress's substation in the center of the seating area, letting out a sigh. The chairs weren't the most comfortable in the world, but right now it felt good to relax.

"Hey Rigby," I heard a voice greet me, and looked up to see Margaret smiling at me, holding a tray of dirty cups. To the normal person Margaret was a cheerful, pleasant girl, even innocent, but I knew better. The only thing real about the robin was her attractive body and lady pecs.

"Hey Margaret," I said automatically, with no real feeling behind it. "What's up?"

"Not too much, it's a quiet night as you probably saw, so I've been kinda bored actually. It's nice to see you, though I'm surprised Mordecai's not here."

I laughed gruffly. "Nah, he's playing some new game, he didn't want to go out."

She rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Yeah, that sounds like him. Did you want a coffee? Black two sugars right?" I nodded.

"Alright, I'll be right back," she giggled, giving me another smile before walking off to get it. It was pathetic really, the flirting. She did it with every guy it seemed and I had known for a while I was on her list of potentials, it was just a matter of-

I froze, feeling metaphorical gears turning in my head.

_Potentials._

All of the anger I had been feeling for days, no, months was suddenly pushed back into the recesses of my mind, and a grin formed on my face slowly. It was genius really, the perfect way to get revenge on someone I had considered a best friend. It was time to see where I could take this.

Margaret returned a few moments later, a cup of coffee and two sugars tucked in her wing. "Here you go Rigby."

I gave her my best s-eating smile and winked. "Thanks beautiful."

"Beautiful? Oh stop Rigby," she said with a smirk, other wing on her hip. "You don't honestly mean that."

I kept the smile plastered on my face, chuckling. "Oh, but I do. You're the 'lot' to my 'latte'."

_That was too lame._

Sure enough though Margaret giggled like she always did at my puns. "Oh Rigby, you're too funny."

_Hook, line and sinker._

"And you're beautiful, so does that make a good combo?" I had to admit, this was actually pretty fun.

"I think so," she said quietly, winking. "Oh man, sorry, I still have your coffee."

She untucked her wing holding the cup, and bending down to set it on the table, I could have sworn she paused for a moment to give me a look at her cleavage, which was now eye-level to me. Even _I_ had to appreciate her flawless body, her breasts practically pressing against her work-ordered shirt. She was good, no doubt about it, the blush creeping to my cheeks and my slight arousal evident. It was pure lust driving me, but in the wrong direction.

She shifted positions, letting her beak hover to my perked ear. "You didn't come in here just for coffee, did you?" she whispered seductively.

_Whoa, was this really happening? I'm letting it happen._

I stuttered, shifting in my seat comfortably, unable to say anything. She smiled and suddenly I felt a wing caressing my thigh under the table.

_Stop this NOW._

The last warning fell short as her touch slid to my arousal, her feathers teasing and tickling my sensitive flesh. I let out a soft pant, heat spreading through my body much like the alcohol had. I couldn't stop it now, the damage had been done.

The warmness flickered out as her wing retreated, our eyes meeting, her stare playful and knowing.

"You're not so _little_ Rigby. We could continue this at my place when I get off...if you want. Seems like you do."

It was all happening so fast, this robin wasted no time. I knew for sure now that Mordecai's "beloved" wasn't so beloved after all. Deep down my gut was screaming for me to say no, to leave the shop and never talk to her again.

My mind sped through scenes of the last few days, of my best friend treating me like a pest instead of a person. He didn't care, and neither should I. Hell, I was doing him a favor.

"I'd like that."

* * *

_And so the plot TRULY begins. I'm very excited to write the next few chapters, but I have to say this to get it out of the way: **I'm not a Margaret basher,** this is just the way the story will be written to stay true to what I'm trying to convey. Unfortunately not every character can be a Goody Two-Shoes because that would led to a very boring story. _

_Thanks for your reviews and I'll see you next chapter!_


	5. Step Five: The Perfect Mistake

_Hey everyone, just wanted to give my readers a heads-up that this chapter will feature POV shifts, but I promise they won't be stupidly random and will make sense. I figured this chapter needed that change to work into the storyline properly. Enjoy!_

**13 Steps**, a Regular Show fanfiction.

_Step Five: The Perfect Mistake_

"What the h? I totally pressed B!"

I threw the controller down in anger, huffing as GAME OVER flashed in pixelated block letters, insulting my efforts. This game was extreme frustrating and my patience was wearing thin. I closed my eyes tightly along with my fists, letting out a sigh. I had been playing now for just over three hours and I barely had reached level two. Tonight just wasn't my night.

I sat up with a groan; my legs had fallen asleep and were completely numb. I wobbled over to the console and switched off the power, then bent forward to try and rub out the discomfort in my joints. I couldn't concentrate tonight, despite the lack of interruptions that usually coursed through the house. No Pops looking over my shoulder asking a question every second about the game, no Benson scolding me for hogging the living room, no Rigby...

_I wish he was here._

Looking back at the couch I almost expected him to be sitting there, lazily slouched back and providing annoying commentary, but silence greeted me instead. I suddenly realized why I couldn't concentrate on the game: it wasn't as fun or exciting without my best friend there to enjoy it with me.

_You wanted alone time, remember?_

It was true, a night without Rigby sounded like a breath of fresh air. I was still upset with him for drinking and talking about Margaret like he had done, and his constant jealousy was growing old and tired. Why couldn't he go find a chick like me? Then I remembered what he had said the other day in the forest.

"_No one wants to talk with me or take me seriously."_

Honestly, that was an excuse. There HAD to be a girl out there attracted to Rigby's personality. And, c'mon, he's not ugly or anything. He was pretty cute in his own way.

_Watch it, your gay-o-meter is climbing Mordecai._

I smiled to myself. Did I honestly just think that? Rigby would never let me hear the end of it. I mean, I'm not not attracted to Rigby like that. Even if I was gay, I doubt I could stand being his boyfriend. The constant whining, selfishness and jealousy would drive me crazy.

_And yet you're always with him._

Well, yeah. We worked together, lived together and it was just easier to be best bros. It was...

_safe. With Rigby around, you always have that safety net, someone to take the fall with you._

I sighed. My conscience had a way of making me feel guilty of every little thing I did. I could pretend like treating Rigby the way I did didn't bother me, but it was catching up with me now, just like every other time. I never wanted Rigby to see me as a weak person. If anything, I had enough conscience for the both of us when temptations arose. I wanted to blame him for all the trouble we always got into, but that wouldn't be right. I had the ability to chose, right? Free will.

The feeling in my legs had returned, and I didn't feel like sitting down anymore. I wondered where Rigby was. He obviously wasn't here, but there was only so many places he could have gone. Should I go look for him? I'd buy him a coffee and we'd talk. I didn't want to lose him, and I had a feeling I was burning a few bridges.

* * *

The rain was keeping the usual crowds at home I figured, because the arcade had been deserted and Cheezers was closing for the night, chairs already placed on the tables. I looked to the sky; the clouds were blended with the night sky, the stars and moon hidden behind their layers. The cold wind was rustling through my feathers and I zipped my winter jacket higher to my neck, shivering. Wherever Rigby was, it definitely wasn't here.

_I tried._

Being outside wasn't going to help, but I couldn't help but worry. I had no idea where he could have gone, unless he had a secret spot I didn't know about. Still, I reminded myself that Rigby was an adult and he could take care of himself. I wasn't his babysitter. It was time to get out of this cold and go somewhere I knew I'd be welcomed.

* * *

"Rigby, that was...wow. I didn't expect that."

Margaret gave me another expression of lust, the moonlight illuminating her disheveled feathers, her eyes narrowed in pleasure. She giggled again, but I couldn't tell it was nerves or a reflex for her. Probably both.

Despite the height difference, the robin was cuddled up to me, her head on my chest. My arm was half-heartedly cupping her waist and I rolled my eyes every time she nuzzled her head into my fur. It was probably for the best we weren't eye to eye at the moment, or she would have noticed my bored expression. From the moment we started our encounter, I realized this entire night had been a mistake.

Margaret had tried too hard, from her over exaggerated moans to her dirty talk that made me want to find the nearest trashcan and vomit. It was a wonder how I had gotten through the sex, but my revenge had grown from a childish plot to a point I had to prove to myself.

From the start though, there was something I hadn't accounted for.

_I could smell Mordecai's scent on her pillows._

It was distracting, overpowering and I loved it. The thought that Mordecai had been in these very sheets aroused me to a degree, but hatred overpowered my arousal as I realized the pleasure he had felt was from this Capital S here with me now.

She probably mistook my rough, angry thrusts for passion. She probably enjoyed the fact that her boyfriend's best friend was here screwing her behind his back. Yet, I couldn't hate her for it. I was just as guilty as she was and the dirtiness I felt couldn't be washed away with just soap and water.

I felt her feathers caress up my stomach fur teasingly. "That was fun Rigby."

_Shut up._

"Yeah, sure." I sighed to myself, wishing this robin would let me up so I could go. There was no confidence anymore about my revenge, which had now turned into regret.

"Mordecai is kind of awkward with sex, it was nice to have a guy take charge for once."

My eyes widened at her statement, my mind reeling. This girl he had so desperately tried to be with and love was degrading his very manhood. It was just sad.

"I mean, he's so sweet but incredibly shy. It's not working out so well."

_Oh my. God._

"Don't you feel bad about this?" I asked, my heart dropping to my stomach, feeling sick.

She lifted her head up slowly, looking into my eyes. "Do you?"

"I..."

She laughed softly. "Exactly. How long has it been since someone actually cared about you like this?"

"What?" I questioned, eyes narrowing. What was she implying?

"Well, I'm sure he's been neglecting you for me. I _am _his girlfriend after all."

I shook my head slowly, trying to get on a grip on any reality left in this room. Did I just sleep with Margaret, or Medusa? Maybe she would turn me into stone and I'd wake up on my trampoline, all of this a bad dream. Maybe it would be the old days again, where Mordecai admired Margaret from a distance and our friendship was still strong. Maybe-

_There's no turning back now. You screwed up._

"This is so wrong," I choked, feeling ill. The full weight of my actions was hitting me in that instant. It didn't matter how bad Mordecai had been treating me, I had just betrayed him.

"So I'm right, he is."

"Stop," I muttered, sitting up. "I need to go."

"Rigby, it's OK."

"No, it's not!" I practically screamed at her, my anger overflowing, clutching my head. "I screwed up big time."

I looked over at her and her wings were folded, an expression of apathy had replaced the seductive one she so easily wore earlier. "You're overreacting. Mordecai and I aren't even going steady."

I froze. _Is she lying or telling the truth?_

The robin must have seen the look of disbelief on my face because she let out a soft giggle. "I think I understand what's going on here."

_You might but I'm lost._

"Rigby, I've never once told Mordecai he was my boyfriend."

* * *

A smile crept onto my face as I got closer to her apartment, despite the growing cold that rustled through my feathers, my pace quickening. Every minute I spent with her was...

* * *

"...alright, but he's just not a guy I could see myself settling down with," she continued to explain. "So we've been going out, and it's even turned sexual yeah, but I made it clear it was casual."

The shock was so overpowering I started to think my jaw would permanently stay dropped.

_Two different stories, and I had no idea who to believe._

"Margaret, Mordecai thinks you've been going steady with him for months now," I said with a grimace.

_If what she says is true, he's been living in a fantasy world._

The robin sighed, standing up, eyes to the floor. "I told you, I never said I was his girlfriend. I don't know why he's been thinking that."

I felt a bit of anger creep back into me. Whether she was lying or not, Mordecai didn't deserve this. He was still my best friend.

_Keyword being 'was'. After tonight you may have lost him for good._

I let out a growl, angry at myself for letting jealousy consume me for all this time.

"You should tell him the truth."

"I already told him it was casual, how many times do I have to say it? If he took it seriously that's his problem," she replied, back turned to me.

_She really thinks this isn't a big deal._

"Then _I'll_ tell him."

At this she finally turned around to face me, snorting. "And what, tell him you slept with his girlfriend? I don't even need to tell you what would happen."

I swallowed hard, but stood my ground. "I'd rather lose his friendship then lie to him. You seem to be really good at that."

Her glare intensified. "You better leave Rigby."

I got up without a word, matting out my fur as she opened the door, then closing it with a slam when I passed through the frame. It was then I had an extremely random and selfish thought: _Where would I find new friends?_

* * *

Relieved to be under the awning of Margaret's upstairs apartment, I tapped on the door light enough not to make a lot of noise but hard enough to get her attention.

No answer.

Was she out? Maybe it had been busy at the shop.

_It's past ten and they close eight. She should be home._

It was true, plus I really wanted to see her. Maybe she could give me advice about Rigby. I was about to konck again when I heard the lock unhatched, and the door creaked open lazily.

"Mordecai?" she yawned, eyes half-lidded.

"Hey babe, just wanted to stop by. I was, heh, in the neighborhood and-"

"I'm really tired tonight from work Mordecai, mind if we talk tomorrow?" she sighed.

"OK then, love-"

I was cut off as the door shut and the hatch was locked on the other side. I sighed, making my way down the steps back into the cold. What was that all about?

Well, maybe I could finally sit down with Rigby; I could always trust him. I shrugged off my rejection from Margaret and concentrated on giving my best bro some guy time.

_There you have it, the first climax of our story. I hope this chapter wasn't confusing, so reviews are appreciated and if you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer them. See you next chapter!_


	6. Step Six: The Eulogy

_Sorry for the late delay all, it's been a crazy couple of weeks and it's definitely given me a case of writer's block. I'm happy where I'm going to take the story though, and that's satisfying. My goal is to get chapter seven up before my birthday (the 25th), and I'm confident I'll meet it. Enjoy!_

**13 Steps**, a Regular Show fanfiction.

Step Six: The Eulogy

**In the beginning I was up front  
Nothing to think about, you'd always hear me out  
We made a pact and never gave up  
When everything would change, we always stayed the same**

"_I'm sorry Mordecai. Dude, please don't be mad."_

_The controller lay cracked on the floor, and I could feel his cold stare on me. I hadn't meant to break it, I just let my anger get the better of me that split second._

"_Rigby, what the h! That was like, ten weeks allowance!"_

_I turned my head in shame and looked back at my best friend, his wings folded. "Please don't be mad, I can fix this!" I pleaded, tail twitching wildly. _

"_It's too late...you pissed me off," he retorted, huffing in annoyance. _

"_Mordecai, please!" I felt like a complete jerk and there was nothing I could do to make this right. Was I going to lose my best bud?_

"_No, man, no. You always get mad when you lose and you take it out on my stuff. It's not cool."_

_I felt my heart start to pound faster, the panic spreading through my body._

**But something went wrong along the way  
You come around and there's nothing left to say  
It's like we're strangers anyway, what more could you ask of me**

"_It was an accident," I pleaded, but his intensity was unwaivering. It seemed like I couldn't do anything right, that my spots of anger WERE going to destroy my friendships and relationships, as my therapist had said so blatantly. I was so annoyed when Mom sent me to the sessions, but I guess they were right all along. _

"_I should just ban you from my games dude," Mordecai added, sighing._

_Something clicked that moment, like a light switch in the dark. I knew what I could do._

"_I'm going to replace it," I said simply, feeling myself calm down. There was no way I would lose Mordecai like this, over my own stupidity._

"_Yeah right," he snorted, rolling his eyes. "I'm not holding my breath dude." I didn't care if he believed me then, because it would be worth it to prove him wrong. _

_The next eight weeks were hell; I mowed so many lawns and even took up a paper route that started at the buttcrack of dawn. Every time I wanted to quit I just thought of my friendship which in my mind was hanging in midair, waiting for me to reach out and grab it. Sixteen-year-old Rigby probably looked ridiculous running into GameInsane, holding a handful of crumpled bills. I'm pretty sure I had change too._

_The morning I presented Mordecai his gift was one I'll never forget. I had met him at his house to catch the bus, as usual. I was holding a cheaply-wrapped box, old newspaper keeping the gift a mystery to my best friend, who was eying it with curiosity. _

"_Dude, what's that?" he had asked with a smirk._

"_It's for you," I simply replied, feeling a small blush creep to my cheeks. Was I really blushing?_

_Mordecai gave a small look of shock as I nodded to confirm, and held it to him. He grabbed it hesitantly, giving it a cautionary shake. "Dude, this isn't a prank is it? Because if it is I-"_

"_Just open it you hole," I said, rolling my eyes. "Sheesh." I couldn't help but smile as he started to hesitantly tear off the newspaper off, slowly revealing the reward of my weeks of hard work. _

"_No way! Sweet!"_

_It was a brand-new controller. Unlike his old one though, it was special edition, and came with a hard case. It was sky blue to match his feathers, but I would never tell him this was no coincidence._

"_Dude, this is so cool. Thanks man." He looked at me with a genuine smile, all of my fears and worries melting away. He embraced me and I never felt so warm in my entire life, like I was enjoying a space heater for the first time after an entire lifetime with no sun. I fixed it._

* * *

The memory faded like an old movie reel at the end of its tape, and I was faced with the harsh reality of the present. My fur kept me naturally insulated but the chill inside my body had nothing to do with the weather. The chapter of my life with my best friend was most likely coming to close tonight. Worse, it felt like the chapter meant the end of the book. There would be no epilogue with a happily ever after, or mention of everyone working it all out. I sighed, my mind out of control.

**I've always been a man of action,  
Never let anything keep a hold of me  
Can always tell when something's missing,  
Like I know everything except for you and me **

_Why. Why did I do it? Why why why?_

The word why and I were becoming close friends in the last few days; it was a word I was growing accustomed to. I felt my pace quicken into a brisk walk, but still upright. Even though I was outside, I felt like I was enclosed in a tiny box that was slowly being taped shut. The option that Mordecai and I would still be friends after this night didn't even cross my mind.

My heart began to beat faster, and I could have sworn the wind started to blow harder. The buildings around me were growing taller, and my eyes darted around wildly. There wasn't a soul in sight but I knew everyone was talking, whispering, hidden in the shadows. They knew what was going on and were judging me from afar. They would tell Mordecai before I could.

_No no no no!_

The paranoia was catching up with me and I couldn't stand still anymore without the guilt creeping further into my being. Thrusting forward into a feral run, the sidewalk started to blend into streaks of random color with the street signs I passed, gaining momentum. The cement was cold and painful on my paws, but that wasn't my concern right now.

_You're going crazy._

That was very possible, but now wasn't the time to stop debate how crazy I _actually _was. The reality was I needed to get back to the house before anyone else chose my fate for me.

* * *

The city streets turned into twisting paths as I rushed past the park entrance, leaves breezing past me, gusts of wind twirling them in flight. I had been running for at least a couple miles now, and I was starting to feel the effects of my journey in my paws. Sharp cramps were running up my arms but I didn't care, stopping meant the end, and I wanted the end to come on _my_ terms.

The rec house started to come into view but it wasn't a relief by any means. My life would essentially end here very soon, in a sense. I felt like I was running to death row, shackling myself up for the executioner.

_I'm doing the right thing._

Then why did it feel so wrong? Margaret wouldn't say anything. He'd never know.

_And lie like she's done all this time? Don't be a coward. Tell the truth for choice._

He's my best friend. He deserved better than a skeleton in a closet, gathering cobwebs. All my life I had been running, from everything. I ran away from home. I ran away from responsibilities. I ran away from my own desires, hopes and dreams. Maybe for once in my life, I could face the wake of a choice gone wrong. I had made fun of those who were truthful because I thought they were living such a boring place. Now I was figuring out that sometimes being boring is better than regretful.

I stopped running when I got to the foot of the tall staircase which led up to the house. It seemed to wind upward miles and miles in the sky, and my arms and legs were throbbing in pain from the long tiring run. I had so much to do, I wasn't ready. I was losing my will to do this. Every step up this staircase would probably make my head throb and my heart skip a beat.

I have to do this.

* * *

I shivered, hunching my wings closer to my body, the thin jacket covering my torso useless against this chilly weather. The park was a few streets away now I couldn't have been more grateful. I felt a frown creep along my beak nevertheless, and it was hard to tell exactly what it was from.

I didn't feel angry that Margaret shut me out tonight...I mean, she probably had a busy night at the shop.

_In this weather? It was closed early._

I shook my head softly. Deep down I knew it wasn't because she was tired, but I couldn't protest, it was HER apartment after all. She did look kind of distraught about something though. My pace quickened to match pace with my thoughts. What if there was...another guy?

_Stop it. Stop it._

I couldn't help it, the thought flooded my mind and paranoia set in. She had been acting stranger and stranger lately, and I could barely hold a serious conversation with her. Was I becoming a dying flame? Would she put me out? I would just have to try harder. Yeah. Maybe she wants me to try harder.

I sighed deeply. At least I had Rigby to talk to when I got home. He was always there to listen when I needed a friend. He was the best one I had and I really was grateful for his company. I would have to watch him carefully though, the booze incident was something that could easily be repeated. He was such an idiot, but I-

_love him?_

Oh crap, no. He was my bro. A bro is different from a lover. Man, he'd never let me hear the end of it if he knew I was thinking like this. I loved Margaret. Still, deep down in my own thoughts, the idea of Rigby and I made me warm in a way I don't think anyone would understand. It didn't even feel...gay.

No, in my daydreams he was more reserved. He was still a goof and embarrassed me but his smile would make me forgive him for practically anything. I saw us renting our own place, finally getting out of the park and Benson's dictatorship. We would, am I really using this word? Cuddle, yeah. We would cuddle on an over-sized couch watching old VHS movies, laughing and degrading the characters on the screen. Maybe it would be by the ocean, and we'd meet new friends. Maybe we'd _really _learn how to play the guitar. In my dreams like this, most importantly, I was strangely content and happy, uncaring of what others thought.

As nice as it sounded I knew it would never happen. I was with Margaret and Rigby would hopefully stay my bro for a long time, maybe find his own person to love. That's the way I wanted it.

_Is it really?_

I shrugged to no one in particular, entering the park. I kept my eye out for the random hobo or addict; they tended to roam the park late at night and Benson asked me specifically to keep an eye out while off-duty if I was ever out late. No one tonight, it was too cold to be out in the open.

The rec house was coming into view now and I was looking forward to finally sitting down and getting in some 'bro' time. As I got closer, I could see the windows illuminated with light.

_Wait, all the lights are on? This isn't right._

I felt my stomach drop to my feet, a feeling that began to sink in. Something was really off. My suspicions were confirmed when I finally saw the ambulance, its red sirens shining through the dark, figures outlined behind the car.

My legs gained momentum and I ran as fast I could.

* * *

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I opened the door to the house, almost expecting everyone to be in the living room, glaring at me and already knowing what I had done tonight. Instead, I was greeted by complete silence. I thought Mordecai would be on the couch playing his game, yet the living room was empty. I guess everyone had gone to bed. I bit my lip, feeling the anxiety building even further. I scampered up the stairs, then stood upright again as I walked slowly down the hall to our room. My paws trembled as I turned the knob.

_Here it goes._

"Moredecai, I-"

Silence. My eyes scanned the room back and forth and I realized it was empty. I sighed, exhaling. This wasn't a good thing though; it would ultimately drag this on longer and I'd have to suffer more. I walked over to Mordecai's bed, noticing the couple pictures of us together he had on his dresser. I had ignored these memories so often because they didn't seem like much, but now I was dying to be able to relive them. The smiles in the pictures would never happen again.

I lifted myself up and sat down, the soft mattress giving me some sort of comfort. I could even faintly smell his natural scent and it only magnified my nostalgia. Wasn't there anything I could do?

_Didn't he tell you about the clocks?_

Light bulb.

That's right, Mordecai had told me the night of the premiere of Zombie Dinner Party, we had fought and I ended up almost going on a date with Margaret (which seemed completely crazy). He had ended up becoming so jealous that he actually tried to microwave all the clocks in the house. After that, he ended up meeting Father Time and getting a do-over.

Do-over.

That's what I needed. Maybe I could beg Father Time for a second chance, to redo the whole day. It all seemed insane but I was becoming desperate. I would try anything.

* * *

Gathering as many clocks as I could find had proved to be a tiring job. I had to sneak into Pops' room, which kind of freaked me out with all of the ancient stuff he had in there. There was even an old grandfather clock, but there was no way I'd be able to carry that thing, let alone fit it in the microwave.

With an armful of clocks I silently made my way to the kitchen, the small electronic clock on the microwave my only source of light. I pushed the latch on the side and it popped open, the inside bulb lighting up for me.Groaning, I realized how pissed everyone was going to be when their replaced clocks were fried.

_If you get a do-over it won't matter._

I mentally slapped my forehead, my own logic making sense. I shoved all of the clocks into the tiny space, barely able to close the small door to lock my contents inside. I only had one shot at this. If this worked, Mordecai and I could go on being best friends and I wouldn't ruin our lives. It was perfect.

I pressed the 5 Auto Cook button, and the machine whirred to life, a humming noise keeping up volume. I stared it hypnotically, hoping the travel to Father Time wouldn't hurt too bad. As a couple seconds went by small white sparks burst into the air, and I figured it was starting to work.

**If I leave I should move away  
and try to right all the wrongs we've ever made  
Well let your problems weight me down  
If I leave this, if I leave this way.**

_Here I come._

_And there you have it, the end of chapter 6! Chapter 7 will be definitely be a great halfway point for the story, so I'm looking forward to sharing it with you all. Just a note, GameInsane is a fake game store, totally made it up. The lyrics used in this chapter is from the song 'If I Leave' by A Day To Remember. I thought it fit well. Anyway, thanks for reading and your comments, hope you enjoyed it!_


	7. Step Seven: The Tightrope

_Hey all, sorry for the late update, but it's pretty cool there's a new chapter on my birthday, right? Right? I think I hear crickets chirping. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter, should be a good one. I'm gonna see Suckerpunch in the morning. Enjoy!_

**13 Steps**, a Regular Show fanfiction.

_Step Seven: The Tightrope_

As I got closer to the ambulance and the house, I could see that Pops, Benson, Skips, and even the duo of Muscle Man and High-Five Ghost were standing on the lawn, watching with almost stone-like expressions. Past them, I saw a couple paramedics walking down the steps from the house, and to my shock and dismay-

_a stretcher. What the hell is going on?_

So quickly everything had turned into a dream. No, a nightmare. My heart tightened as my deepest fears were enfolding before me. I had a sinking feeling of who was on that make-shift bed. Somehow I found the strength to run faster, pushing my legs past their physical limits. My body was filling with adrenaline; I probably could have lifted Pops' taxi in that moment, if I had to.

I stepped onto the grass, joining the group, the damp ground sending an even deeper chill throughout my body. I took a split second to catch my breath and looked to Pops. His stare met my own and worry consumed his features. If Pops looked worried, this was serious. VERY serious.

"Pops, Benson, what's going on?" I stammered through breaths, feeling dizzy with worry. Both of us had sustained some pretty gnarly injuries over the years, but nothing that ever sent us to the hospital.

"Mordecai, there was an accident," Pops started, his normally cheery voice was laced with sadness and concern. "Rigby was using the micromachine and-"

"Microwave," Benson interrupted, correcting Pops. "We don't know what he was doing but I was upstairs in my office, doing paperwork, and heard a loud booming noise, almost like an explosion. Skips had gotten their first and Rigby was lying on the floor. I thought he was dead, because...well, come see for yourself."

He motioned toward the stretcher, now raised on its stilts. I hesitantly stepped closer, hoping whatever I saw didn't make me sick. This was just too much to handle; Rigby was known for doing stupid, careless things, but I couldn't imagine him nuking a microwave. It's didn't make sense.

_What was Rigby thinking?_

I took a deep breath and peered over the bed. My jaw dropped when I saw what Benson was talking about: patches of bare, reddened skin were visible all over his small body. Where there was still fur intact, it was singed black, his natural brown fur non-existent. His mouth was just a frown line, devoid of life. I turned my head, feeling guilty that I couldn't handle the sight of him. He looked so mangled and-

I ran for the nearest bush and heaved into it, almost falling over from fatigue. I was already tired; now I truly knew what being exhausted was. I walked back to the group after a moments of getting my breath back, and saw they were loading Rigby into the back of the ambulance. An EMT was talking with them, probably letting them know what was happening. I tuned in to what he was saying.

"...second-degree burns, and trauma to the head. He's lucky to be alive, honestly, but he's not out of the woods yet. His body in still in shock and we need to keep a sharp eye on his heart. None of you know the cause of the malfunction?" he asked, and everyone just shook their heads, unable to answer with anything useful. The whole scene was surreal.

"Excuse me," I asked, my voice croaking and hoarse. "Can I ride with him? He's my best friend."

The EMT looked to Benson, knowing he was in charge as if for confirmation. For once Benson didn't over-analyze the situation and nodded back to him then looked to me, sighing. "Keep an eye on him, Mordecai, and we'll be there in a couple hours. I have to fill out an employee injury report, which is going to take a while, but if I don't get it done right away it could cost the park a lot of money."

I couldn't believe Benson was concerned with money right now while Rigby's life was hanging in the balance. I could felt anger rise to my chest, but it was cut short when I felt a gentle squeeze on my shoulder. Skips was next to me and I looked to him, and he gave me a simple nod, as if he knew exactly what I was feeling. His signal reminded me I didn't have time to argue, Rigby needed me.

"Alright, see you guys soon," I replied solemnly, walking away from the group and towards the flashing lights. Maybe me being close to him would keep his mind intact. If anything ever happened to him...I would never forgive myself.

* * *

They say when you have a near-death experience you see your life flash in front of you. I don't know who 'they' were, but boy, were they wrong.

The first thing I felt was the sensation that I was being thrown into the sky, like somebody had shot me out of a super-sized cannon. Colors and sounds burst past me in a blur, and my tail was whipping violently from the force. I could barely see through my watering eyes, my fur pressing firmly into my skin. I couldn't even let out a scream.

I was picking up speed yet my vision seemed to get clearer: I was staring into a purplish-red void that seemed to be getting brighter and brighter, as if it was sucking me up into a star. Panic was rising in my chest steadily and I closed my eyes, figuring this was how people died, and I was next to experience the sensation. I didn't wanna die, not without coming clean to Mordecai.

As an unnatural calm came over me, I was about to accept my fate when suddenly I felt myself slowing down. I hesitantly opened my eyes to find I could see perfectly again, and the infinite void was a more vibrant red against the dark shade of purple.

_I'm...not dead?_

I slowed to a stop, but I was still in mid-air. Having no control of my body was terrifying but I figured there was nothing I could do at the moment. Slowly I began to descend, wondering where I'd stop. As far as I could tell there's wasn't solid ground anywhere near me. Is this what Mordecai had felt when he traveled in time?

My feet finally hit solid ground, even though I couldn't see where I was standing exactly, but thankfully it felt like I could walk and control my own body again. Problem was, I didn't want to walk anywhere. What if I feel into the void again? Nervously I took a couple baby steps, testing out my surroundings. More solid ground, so it was a good sign.

I walked a little more sturdy, trying to figure out where to walk, when I felt my elbow smash into something solid and cool. I yelped as I heard a crash beside me, loud and echoing. Crap, that sounded like glass.

_But there was nothing there._

Nothing I could see anyway. I tiptoed back into motion and shushed myself, raising my arms out in front of me carefully. Hopefully I could get a feel of what I was-

My paw had pushed against something heavy, and I heard it sway, so it was tall too.

_Crash._

I moaned in fright, darting my glance left and right. Where the h was I?

"Who's there? ANOTHER one?" I heard a booming voice bellow with an annoyed tone, making me jump with shock. A gust of powerful wind blew past me, colors and shades swarming in the air from all different directions. When they came into focus, I realized they were-

_Clocks. Oh man._

They stacked in position and made an awkward humanoid form, which was towering over me. Just like Pops, the shape had on one of the those goofy old-fashioned hats, only this one was shorter and more round. An arm of clocks suddenly extended toward me, as if it was pointing at me. "Look at the mess you made, my living room's trashed, _again_!"

_Again?_

"I'm sorry," I stammered, wide eyed. Mordecai and I had seen some crazy stuff over the years, but never a man made out of clocks. This was definitely a first.

"Oh, you're sorry? Were you sorry you microwaved my clocks?" he boomed, still pointing. "You're just like Mordecai."

_Wait, how does he know Mordecai?_

"Yeah, I know the guy, he was here just like you are now," he said, as if reading my thoughts. "And I know you Rigby. I know EVERYONE."

"Creepy," I stated, unable to control myself. I mean, it was.

"You try dealing with every being in the Universe. 'Oh, if only I could turn back time!'" he mocked in a shrill voice, waving the clock arm. "As if I'm supposed to give do-overs to everyone. I know why you're here Rigby, and what you did is something you'll have to live with."

"What? Hey, that's not fair. You gave Mordecai a do-over, he told me!" I yelled angrily at him, shaking. I didn't come all this way only to be sent back. No way.

"Mordecai was ignorant of his actions. He didn't discover his jealousy until I showed him through my Truth Hole," he replied curtly. "You copied Mordecai knowing what would happen, figuring you could get a free pass."

I looked away. I knew he was right.

* * *

The room felt cold and lifeless, the steady beeping of the life support rhythmically continuing to a beat that was far from soothing. Bandages had been wrapped all over his small body, making him look like a makeshift mummy with tubes sticking out. It was a horrible sight, and I could barely stand it. Rigby wasn't the type to be bed-ridden, he was full of life and emotion. Sometimes it was almost too much to handle, but it made him special. Truthfully, I was I could wear my emotions on my sleeve...wing, like he did instead of bottling them up.

I sighed, thinking back to the past couple weeks. In my excitement being with Margaret, I hadn't even cared how he had felt. I told him to go find someone, but never actually helped him with it. He and I both knew he was awkward meeting new people, because most of them didn't understand his personality. First impressions weren't really his thing.

I looked over to his bed, half-expecting him to be awake.

_I'm sorry dude._

I shivered and groaned. This room was WAY too cold for my liking. Not just the temperature, but it had a horrible vibe to it. I stood up, stretching. Maybe if I moved around a bit it would help. I walked over to Rigby's bed, placing my wings on the metal frame. They were icy to the touch but in a weird way I felt better being closer to him. I watched as his chest rose and fell with shallow breaths, but other the that simple motion, he was still.

Without much hesitation I lifted my wing from the bar and placed it gently on the top of his head, one of the only places on his body that was spared from the burns. I scratched it gently, careful not to go near the bandages. His fur was cold, but soft to the touch.

_What am I doing?_

I shook my head, but continued to rub his head. I couldn't help myself, it was protective and almost...natural. I couldn't describe it. My heart was racing with a mess of feelings and thoughts. I swallowed hard, picturing imagery I never thought possible. As soon as Rigby wakes up I-

"Mordecai."

I stopped rubbing Rigby's head immediately, turning around at the sudden call of my name. "I was...Margaret?"

She smiled softly, holding a small bouquet of flowers. "Good, I found the right room," she said sadly, placing them gently on the desk behind her. "It's the best I could find on short notice."

I walked over to her and embraced her, searching for the comfort I needed. It was short-lived as she pulled back almost immediately. I figured she was probably upset at the sight of Rigby mangled up.

"How did you find us?" I asked.

"Well, I meant to come over to talk to you, and that Yeti guy-"

"Skips."

"Yeah, Skips, answered when I knocked. He told me everything...well, that he knew." she replied softly. "I asked the receptionist downstairs for the room number, said I was family."

"Family? She bought that?" I laughed softly, then felt guilty knowing Rigby was behind me.

"I guess," she shrugged, looking away. Was she really this shook up about Rigby like this? I mean, they never interacted anywhere except the coffee shop.

"Margaret, the doctors said Rigby would be alright, so if you're upset about it we can-"

"That's not it," she cut me off, raising a wing. She looked away again, still visibly upset.

_Then what is it?_

"Look, I know this isn't the best time, at all. There's something I have to tell you though, something you're not going to like. I have to say it because it's important. Can we...go into the hall?" she motioned toward the door.

I swallowed hard.

* * *

I looked back up at the humanoid clock man, ears lowered. "Father Time, I know what I did was wrong, and I'd give anything to change it. I care about Mordecai more than anything and losing him would...well, I wouldn't be able to handle it. I'm asking you for this, to please send me back."

There was a moment of silence before the booming voice replied. "I'm sending you back, Rigby, but to the present. You should be grateful you're alive in the first place."

"But-"

"No Rigby. This lesson is something that needs to be taught. You will understand in time that things happen for a reason. Rely less on the clock you see on the wall and look closer at the clock inside yourself."

"That doesn't even make sense," I huffed, defeated.

"It will, eventually. Time has a way of working its own magic. Now go, and face your timeline."

I nodded, looking deep into the void. There was nothing left to do expect face it all.

* * *

My body slid down the hallway's wall as if in slow motion, until I felt myself sitting on the tile, staring into the fluorescent lights above me in disbelief. The sound of footsteps echoed until they faded away.

* * *

_And there you have it, Margaret spilled the beans. Should be interesting to see how Mordecai handles it. We'll find out next time on Days of Our- I mean, 13 Steps!_


	8. Step Eight: The Detour

Hey guys, sorry about the long update periods. I'm currently hitting the gym HARD in order to look good for summer, going through enrollment to re-enter college, AND I'm working with an old boss to create graphics for him so I have a decent income coming in. Oh, Adult World, how you keep me busy. Thanks for being so patient and enjoy!

**13 Steps**, a Regular Show fanfiction.

_Step Eight: The Detour_

_Clocks...I'm sorry...mistake...Mordecai...jealous...Mordecai..._

_What...what...where..._

My mind was coming to, but my eyes weren't ready to open. If I opened them, I would to have face the consequences.

_Why the h did I have to wake up?_

I groaned inwardly, my breathing become sharper with consciousness. I noticed that I felt...heavier, like someone had put a bulky suit on me. My hearing sharpened and I could hear a steady electronic beep. What _was _that? Wasn't I still in the house? Was this how Mordecai had felt when he experienced Father Time? The questions were stacking up and curiosity was winning; I had to know.

Cautiously I opened my eyes, and the world was blurred in a mix of faded colors. How long had I been away? Something felt off and I was honestly scared. Light parted from my sight and I almost breathed a sigh of relief; my vision was coming back.

What I saw made me wish my eyes were still closed: I was in a hospital room, the white-wash walls, medical equipment and TV hanging from a corner a dead giveaway. I hadn't been to a hospital since...

_Dad._

I hated hospitals. They were depressing, and brought back memories that only I knew of, that I would never dream of telling anyone about. Not even Mordecai.

I couldn't believe I was in this room, laying on this bed. I realized then the bulky suit I thought I was wearing was a cocoon of bandages wrapped around my limbs, and I shook in fear. This wasn't right, at all. Mordecai didn't get hurt when he went through time. What happened? What happened? What-

_Stop it Rigby. Get a grip. _

I swallowed hard, wishing someone was here to explain all this away, to take these bandages off and help me sit up so I could leave. My eyes darted around the room, as if to find some sort of answer. I noticed a small bouquet of flowers laying on the table next to the medicine cabinets. That was weird. Who would have brought flowers? Nothing was adding up.

_How come I can't feel my fur?_

The bandages must have been matting it down. Then why did I feel so warm? Panic was rising in my chest and my mind felt overcrowded. I needed to get to Mordecai.

"Hello?" I yelled in pain, only to have my call for help echoed back to me. "Hello?"

_I'm going to die here. They left me here to die._

I couldn't get a grip. I needed answers. I needed-

_Creak._

I heard the door in the corner opening slowly and it snapped me back to my senses. From where the bed was I couldn't see who it was, but hopefully it was a nurse. I could ask her to help me up and get me out of here so I could leave. Maybe there was still time.

"Hello? Nurse? Could you-"

I heard the figure stepping into the room, followed by the door closing, their footsteps quietly tapping against the tile, but no answer.

"Hello?"

I blinked in amazement. The figure wasn't in uniform, but instead sky blue contrasted against the white walls behind him.

"M...Mordecai?" I whispered quietly. His eyes scanned over me, then caught my glance, as if staring right into me. It kind of freaked me out. Why wasn't he talking?

"Mordecai?" I repeated.

He looked away then walked backward, grabbing a chair and slid it to the side of my bed slowly before sitting down, still staring at me. "Hey."

"Hey," I repeated, coughing roughly. I was starting to feel dizzy again. I was supposed to be back in time hours ago, staying far away from the coffee shop...and Margaret. Instead, Father Time sent me to this hospital. Wasn't he supposed to send me back to the house? Nothing made sense.

"What happened to me Mordecai?"

He suddenly stood up and groaned angrily, pushing the chair away. I grimaced and flinched, honestly afraid at his outburst. I had seen Mordecai annoyed and angry before, but not like this.

"You're lucky to be alive, you idiot!" he yelled, and I could hear the hurt in his voice. In that moment I wanted nothing more than to take that hurt away from him, even if it meant putting more hurt on myself.

_He knows about the clocks._

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, defeated. I honestly didn't know what to say.

"You're _sorry_?" he sneered, looking back at me. "What were you thinking? You could have been _killed_!"

"I made a mistake," I stammered. I deserved this lecture. I screwed up, bad. "I never meant to get hurt." How could I explain this to him and make him understand?

"What did you _think _was going to happen when you microwaved all that metal, especially with you standing right next to it? You could have burnt the house down you hole," he huffed.

_Just get it out. You can't get any lower then this._

I swallowed. "I..."

"Well?"

"I...wanted a do-over from Father Time, like the one you got and told me about."

His eyes grew wide. "What?"

I took a deep breath. "I screwed up tonight, Mordecai. I made a huge mistake, and I was going to talk to you about...stuff, but you weren't home. So...I got desperate. I thought about that story and what you had told me, and I thought maybe it would work again. I wanted to have a second chance to redo my day."

He sighed, looking away. There was a long pause that felt like forever. "It all makes sense now."

_Makes sense? How can it?_

"Rigby, Margaret told me everything."

My heart stopped.

* * *

When Margaret had dragged me out into the hall, I honestly had no idea what she had wanted at a time like this. Would she break up with me right here in the hospital?

_Don't be stupid. She wouldn't do something like that._

She shut the door to the room and we walked down the hall a little. She looked concerned, and really upset, not making eye contact. I could feel my own stress rising watching her, on top of what had happened with Rigby.

"Margaret, what's going on? Is there anything I can-"

She raised a wing as if to silence me. "You're not going to like this."

I put on a smile for her, wrapping a wing around her waist. "Look, Margaret, if you need to tell me something you know I'll always listen. Even when things are crazy like they are now."

At this point she looked at me, straight in the eye, and I knew by the look on her face this wasn't just a normal problem. She broke free of my wing and sighed, clutching the back of her head. "Mordecai...something happened tonight. Something that really shouldn't happened, but it did. And it involved Rigby."

_Rigby? What?_

She must have seen the confused look on my face. "It happened hours before he hurt himself. You were at home playing video games, according to him."

I shook my head, trying to grasp the timeline of the night. "Was it before I came over?"

She nodded. "Yeah, it was pretty much right after my shift."

_Why would Rigby meet up with Margaret after work? He hated her. Unless..._

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" I swear, I didn't think he was this-

"No, no, nothing like that. Mordecai, you're such a sweet guy, you don't deserve this. I can't...I don't know how to tell you this," she stammered, choking up.

I felt a lump rise to my throat. A horrible feeling was creeping through my body like a poison. "Just say it."

She looked at me again, tears forming in her eyes. "Rigby and I went back to my place after I got off work-"

"No. No. No. No, you're joking. Good one babe." She was really joking at a time like this? It wasn't very funny.

The tears kept coming though. "Mordecai, listen to me. I'm not joking. Rigby and I...slept together. It was a mistake, and I'm so, so sorry. I really am."

Time stopped at that moment, and everything disappeared around me in a flash. I was standing in an empty void, and there was an invisible sword piercing my heart. I couldn't breathe. I could hear Margaret's voice calling to me faintly, like it was a mile away. It kept calling over and over, trying to bring me back. I wouldn't though, I'd run far away, and never come back.

"Mordecai, are you OK? Mordecai, please, talk to me. Mordecai!"

I looked at her without actually seeing her. I felt robotic, devoid of all emotion. How could this be happening? How could more than a year of courage be defeated in just one moment?

I felt my legs start to move in the opposite direction, away from the girl I thought I knew, away from the best friend I thought I had. I couldn't bare to be near them.

"Mordecai, wait!"

I heard her clearly but kept walking faster, feeling dizzy but forcing myself to keep moving. Suddenly, I felt force on my shoulders, and realized Margaret was holding me back, forcing me to confront her. Her strength shocked me and to my horror I realized there were warm tears forming in my eyes now, along with hers. The last thing I wanted to do was show her the hurt she caused me.

"Please, listen to me. Let me talk and get this out, then you never have to see or hear from me again."

I didn't want to, but something told me I had no choice.

She sniffed, blinking her wet eyes. "If you're going to blame anyone, blame me...don't blame Rigby. I made the first move."

_Are you serious?_

"He came into the shop for coffee and he looked really down and lonely. I just felt so bad for him, and thought he needed some...attention. I know it sounds stupid but it all happened so fast."

I felt the anger creeping back. "So you _fucked _my best friend to give him attention? You couldn't just talk with him?"

She winced, obviously hurt, but I didn't care. Let her feel the pain I was feeling.

"Mordecai, you don't understand-"

"Oh, I understand. I understand you're a whore."

I felt her wing connect with my cheek, and I froze more from shock than pain. She was full-on crying now. "It's easy to call me a whore, isn't it? Especially when you never asked about my past, right?"

"I know you've had about a dozen boyfriend since I've known you," I retorted, rubbing my cheek.

"So you knew that my father sexually abused me for three years of my life?"

_Oh God._

My wings dropped to my side and I looked at her dumbfounded, unable to find the words to reply.

"Yeah, shocker right? Now you know my deep dark secret, happy? Go tell everyone and spread that around for revenge," she cried, her voice rising.

"I..."

"This is why I date guys who are cruel to me, Mordecai. It's what I'm used to. When my father touched me...I thought I deserved it. I thought it was my fault. When I gave you a chance I thought I finally broke the pattern, but I guess I fell backwards."

I shook my head, still dumbfounded. "Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped you get through this. I love...loved you. I trusted you. I trusted Rigby too."

She looked away. "You think that it was something I really wanted to share with ANYONE? I was trying my best to get through it, and I screwed up. Don't think I don't know about Rigby, if you're going to point fingers."

_What did she mean?_

"When we're together you always tell me how you're going to spend time with him, but I've seen you constantly degrade him and ditch him. You think it's impressive to me but it's not. My heart was breaking for him."

_Geez..._

"Margaret, Rigby is my best friend, but you're my girlfriend. You're first priority every time."

She looked back at me, sighing, drying her eyes. "You don't see it, do you?"

"See what?"

"He loves you, Mordecai. That little guy would do ANYTHING for you. He is attached to you like glue, and it's one of the sweetest things I've ever seen. You're lucky to have him."

I looked away in discomfort. Loving Rigby? That was just-

"Margaret, he slept with you behind my back. That's wrong, even you can see that."

She nodded. "I won't argue with that. But you should know that he was going to tell you. He...felt horrible about it. He was really hurt."

_A mistake. Was that all it was?_

"Margaret, I can forgive you, Let's forget about all this and start over fresh. I can help you get over-"

I stopped talking when I saw her head shaking. "It's over Mordecai."

My heart was racing. "I promise. I know I'm mad now but stuff happens and-"

She stopped me again, raising a wing. "I have issues, Mordecai, issues I'm not ready to share with anyone. I need help and I'm going to get it. I need to heal. If you love me, you'll understand."

My eyes watered again and I blinked the tears away. "Please don't go."

She smiled sadly. "I'll always treasure you, Mordecai. You're an amazing person."

With that, she turned and walked down the hall, leaving me alone and cold.

* * *

Mordecai finished, and the room went quiet again, except for the steady beep of the life support. The fact that Margaret would do all of that was...unreal. She risked everything.

"Mordecai, I'm sorry..."

He nodded. "I know you are. And honestly, I forgive you. I'm still angry, but I forgive you."

_Wait, he forgives me?_

"Why? After all that I did?"

He sighed, sitting back down but this time on the edge of the bed. "I treated you like crap, dude. I let my love for Margaret get in the way of our friendship and that was wrong, and I should have realized it sooner. What you did was wrong too, but we're both to blame."

I nodded softly, still hesitant. "So she told you I loved you, huh?"

He actually grinned. "Yeah, dude, that's really gay."

I felt myself blush. "Shut up hole."

He leaned over the bed towards me and smiled. "So how long?"

"Huh?" I coughed.

"How long have you known you loved me? More than a bro?" I blushed deeper.

_Man, way to point me on the spot, Mordecai._

"I...years."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah," I said quietly. "Probably since we were fifteen or so."

He nodded, and got in closer. What the h is he-

His beak met my lips and we were locked in a kiss. My eyes widened.

_Am I still dreaming? This isn't happening._

I knew I was awake this time. He broke it and leaned back, a small blush creeping along his cheeks. "That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

I just laid there, still in shock. "Dude..."

He smiled softly. "We have a lot to talk about. Get some rest OK?"

I just nodded. Was this bad, or good? I couldn't tell anymore, and I wasn't going to try and figure it out. I was too tired. I heard the door shut close and felt myself nodding off.

* * *

_Wow, that chapter had a lot going on. Hopefully it wasn't TOO confusing because more will be explained next chapter, trust me. Hope you enjoyed the ride, see you next time!_


	9. Step Nine: The Advice

_Hey readers, I just wanted to make a quick note that I apologize if the story seemed rushed last chapter, but I assure you that there is WAY more than meets the eye...let's put it like that. Also, prepare for some OC goodness, but I assure you twice that it plays a VERY important role in the plot. Enjoy!_

**13 Steps**, a Regular Show fanfiction.

_Step Nine: The Advice_

"Paging Doctor Marks to ICU. Doctor Marks, to ICU."

The PA system crackled off and I sighed, taking another sip of the cheap coffee I had bought after my visit with Rigby.

_Might as well get used to other coffee. I can't go into the shop anymore._

It was a random thought but it rang true and harsh in my mind. I shifted in my chair. The plastic piece I was sitting in was extremely uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as I felt right now. The cafeteria was buzzing with life, from nurses and to what seemed like family members of the unfortunate people being treated in this building. I heard their conversations and some were exchanging eye contact with me, but I couldn't have felt more alone.

I set down the Styrofoam cup and buried my head in my wings. Everything that had happened tonight had enfolded in just hours, but I felt like I aged twenty years. I was beyond tired, but sleep was something foreign and I knew just wouldn't come.

_I kissed him._

He slept with my girlfriend, and I ended up kissing him. Am I the stupidest guy on the planet? What the hell was I thinking? My emotions were all over the place. Maybe I was doing Rigby a favor. Yeah. Maybe I was trying to keep him from breaking down.

_Keep telling yourself that._

How could so much work, effort and determination crumble so quickly? I don't care _who _Rigby liked, but why did it have to be _me_? I wanted to feel betrayed. I wanted to feel angry. I wanted to hate Rigby. Truth was, I couldn't. I wasn't the type of person to throw away a friendship so easily.

_Friendship? Maybe from YOUR point of view._

Rigby and I just couldn't be together, that's the way it is. The thought of Rigby...loving me would have been flattering if not for the simple fact I didn't like guys.

_You kissed one._

It was a mistake. Not Rigby, just the kiss. Girls, boys, what the h did it matter anyway? I let out another sigh. Again, my mind was betraying me. My heart wasn't much use, crumpled and stepped on like a forgotten piece of trash. I wanted Margaret in my arms; we could be anywhere but this stale, depressing hospital.

"Excuse me?"

I lifted my head from my wings at the sound of the voice interrupting my thoughts. It was a gray wolf with piercing yellow eyes, teeth barred. The funny thing was, it looked as though he was smiling apologetically, not growling. His casual, brown collared shirt and slacks told me he was probably another guest visiting like I was.

"Uh...yes?" What did he want?

"I'm truly sorry for bothering you, but I couldn't help but notice you over here looking quite melancholy," he replied, still smiling. "Is everything alright?"

His accent was probably British from what I could tell, and actually kinda...soothing. It was the kind of voice you'd hear on a book-on-tape and reminded me of Pops. I wanted to tell him to leave me alone the way I was feeling, but I just didn't have the heart.

"I, er, yeah. I'm just exhausted," I told the stranger, still cautious. "It's been a long night." He _seemed_ nice enough, but I wasn't used to much stranger interaction lately.

He nodded softly. "Some nights just seem to last forever."

_Tell me about it._

He extended a paw to me, still smiling. "Since we've acknowledged each other's presence, I think I'll introduce myself. The name's Harvey. And you are?"

I offered him my wing; handshakes had always been awkward for me not having fingers and all. "Mordecai. Nice to meet you Harvey."

"Mordecai, that's a peculiar name. I like it." He glanced at the empty seat opposite of me and motioned toward it. "Would it be forward of me to ask if I could have a seat? I'm sure some company would do us both some good."

I still wasn't too sure of Harvey, but he had a point. As much as I was hurting, some company would probably help me right now. "Sure Harvey, have a seat."

He pulled the chair back and sat with a slight sigh, as if he had been walking for days. I don't know why I didn't notice it before, but now that he was closer, I could see some graying fur on the bridge of his nose. It didn't matter much, but now I had an indication that he was older. I would have been a jerk if I had sent him away.

Harvey scooted the chair closer to the table and rested his arms on it, leaning forward slightly. "This is definitely better than pacing the halls. I was completely restless just a few minutes ago."

I nodded in agreement. "I know what you mean. I bought this coffee because I thought the warmth would give me some comfort," I said, raising the half-empty container. "I think it made me more jittery though."

He chuckled softly. "Yes, coffee has that effect I suppose. Myself, I enjoy a nice cup of tea. This cafeteria doesn't have any teabags, only that pre-made iced nonsense. Can you believe it? Such a shame."

I let out a laugh, more to be polite though. "Yeah, sorry to hear that. I guess hospitals aren't exactly hotels, huh?"

He laughed with me. "I guess not. Oh well, it could be worse."

I raised my eyebrow. Would could be worse than being in some sterile hospital cafeteria? I took another sip of my coffee, not really knowing how to reply to that.

"So Mordecai, are you a patient or just visiting? You looked upset but not ill," the canine asked curiously.

"Right now I'm surprised I'm not up there in a bed the way I've been feeling," I answered honestly, blowing outward. "But yeah, I'm just visiting. My friend...best friend was in an accident. He was burned pretty badly and I'm just worried about him."

"Naturally," Harvey nodded solemnly. "I'm very sorry to hear that. Is he stable?"

"I think so, I talked with him a bit when he was awake, but he's scared. I would be too, but I know the best thing for him is rest."

_Was it?_

"He has a hard time keeping still normally, so it's going to hard for him to lay in a bed for a couple weeks." I took another sip of the coffee, breaking my glance to look away, almost wishing Harvey wasn't paying attention. It felt strange talking to a stranger about Rigby.

I looked back, and the wolf was still staring back, listening intently. I decided to try and direct the conversation his way. "What about you Harvey? Are you visiting someone?"

He cleared his throat, the smile reappearing. "Yes actually. Unfortunately I'm used to these visits, and being a visitor."

"Is it a family member?" I was starting to feel bad for him. No one should be used to a hospital, in any way.

He seemed to hesitant, then nodded. "Technically yes." Technically? What did he mean?

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be nosy," I said quickly, mentally slapping my forehead for being so forward. He let out a laugh, and I sighed in relief. At least he wasn't upset by it.

"You're fine, Mordecai, you're fine. It's actually my partner I'm visiting. You see, he has sickle-cell anemia. Every so often, he'll have extremely painful episodes, as we call them. He won't be able to move his limbs because of the pain deep in his bones."

My eyes widened. I had heard of sickle cells, but never understood how they worked. "Isn't there a cure?"

He shook his head. "Unfortunately not, it's a hereditary disease, passed down. He takes supplements to control the episodes, but there are times where they just happen and nothing can be done but rush him to the emergency room."

I couldn't imagine going through something like that. Compared to this man and his partner, Rigby and I's problems didn't seem _half_ as bad. "I'm so sorry."

He waved a paw and and smiled again. "You're sweet to say that, but it's quite alright. It's something he's lived with his whole life, and I've lived with since I decided I needed him in my life. When you love someone, you take the good with the bad."

Harvey seemed so at peace with the fact his partner had a disease this serious. How was that possible? "Isn't it scary every time he...you know, checks in?"

_Way to be sensitive Mordecai._

He chuckled, surprising me again. "Of course it is, there is always a risk involved of things turning for the worse, and I would be devastated if that day ever came. After years of going through this process, though, I suppose you learn to accept that whatever happens, happens. The way I look at it, every time you cross the street, you're at risk at being hit by a car. Kind of the same concept, yeah?"

I felt myself let out a laugh, feeling less embarrassed. "I guess that makes sense." This guy was so optimistic despite the situation he was put in. His partner must be _some_ guy.

My curiosity was growing with each passing minute, and for some reason I found myself wanting to know more. "So, if you don't mind me asking, how long have you known your partner?"

"I don't mind at all. I've known Jack for over forty years."

I couldn't have stopped my jaw from dropping if I had tried. FORTY years? Harvey must have noticed my shock and he laughed the hardest since we started our conversation. I quickly shook my head and brought myself back to reality, feeling the red rise to my cheeks.

_Rude much?_

"I completely agree with that look of shock, Mordecai. Forty years is a long, long time for an old man like myself." He smiled, pointing to the gray I had noticed when he first sat down. "It had to come eventually, whether I liked it or not."

I shook my head quickly, still blushing. "You don't look old at all, Harvey."

He laughed again, amused. "I appreciate the compliment, but the years don't lie. Jack and I have had a roller coaster of a life together, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Everything that has happened to us, looking back, seemed like it happened for a reason. Memories mean more than any currency in this world."

I couldn't do more but nod, feeling myself being slowly engrossed in this man's life. "I'm guessing by your accent you weren't born here."

"You guessed right," Harvey replied, winking. "My American accents are terrible I'm afraid, so I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't. I grew up in southern England, some miles outside London. Jack did as well."

"You two were childhood friends?"

"Again, you're correct. We met at the same grammar school, actually. I remember the first day of classes he was sitting alone at the mid-day break, drawing doodles into the dirt with a stick. I don't know actually what drew me to him, but I asked him to play football and sure enough we were kicking the ball around not minutes later, as if he was expecting me to come along. Jack was extremely open and excitable, and his energy made me happy to be around. We had out faults, but more fun if anything."

He paused, thinking.

"As we grew older and entered secondary school, we were best of friends, inseparable. Our classmates must of saw this because we were always referred to as 'Harvey and Jack', never just Harvey or Jack. It never bothered us really...at least at first. Rumours started to spread after a while; at first they were harmless jabs, nothing to worry over. After a while though, they became threatening. Apparently the rumours had grown to make us out as a full-blown couple. I recall one afternoon I supposed to meet Jack at the market after classes, and he showed up with a cut lip, and a bruised eye. When I asked him about it he had told me a couple of bullies had tried to harass him and it had gotten violent."

I shook my head. "Not cool."

He nodded. "No, not at all. I confronted the same classmates the next day and threatened them right back; I told them if they ever laid a finger on Jack again I'd make them sorry. The incident had actually opened my eyes to a truth I hadn't come to terms with however, and that was I had taken on the role as Jack's protector. I didn't mind taking on that role, but soon a time came where I wanted to my own identity as just Harvey."

"Eventually I met a girl in our class when we entered college and after a couple weeks we had gone on several dates and outings. She was special and I thought I wanted her in every way, as if she were made especially for me. I never ignored Jack, but our time together had been cut drastically and I could tell it was getting to him. He seemed more distant and the times we were alone, he would ask about the dates in uncomfortable detail. It wasn't hard to tell he was growing jealous of this new, important person in my life. One day I had a long talk with him and explained that it couldn't always be about him, that I needed a chance to do things on my own, and other people would be involved."

"How did he take it?"

"At first, not well. It took him a bit of time to understand the separation that needed to exist for us to have a healthy relationship, and not let it be overwhelming. I continued to date the girl I knew I loved, and still made time for Jack. I knew his jealousy was still there, but he stayed loyal, so I couldn't be upset with him despite wanting to confront him constantly. This went on for about two more years, until we were almost about to enter university."

"What happened?"

"Well, it turned out the girl I so desperately had fallen for had different plans then the ones we discussed; we had talked about moving into London to study law. Her business ideas apparently involved a man from Ireland who promised her a position in news broadcasting up in Dublin, which was growing at the time. I never saw her again."

I sighed sympathetically. "I'm sorry."

He grinned. "Oh, I've been over it for decades, but I appreciate it. Anyway, when Jack learned of our breaking up, he was there as always. His 'perk', if you will, seemed to be back after being hidden for such a long time. One weekend when I started to feel better about the whole situation, we spent the evening at the local pub, having a pint. One pint turned into two, and so forth. I'm assuming Jack had what you Americans call liquid courage, and told me exactly how he felt about me, what had been brewing inside of him for so many years. All of the jealousy made sense at that point. I was flattered, but I had really never looked that deeply into our relationship. In fact, I had never really played with the idea of being with another male romantically. I was never opposed to it per say, it was just something that I never thought I'd have to think about, especially with Jack."

"So what did you do?" I asked, completely hung on every word Harvey was saying. I needed to know.

"Well, it wasn't as easy as taking him as my partner right there on the spot. In fact, at first I was a bit uncomfortable. He didn't push it though, and was the same person he normally was. After several months into university, though, I noticed I had no desire to date. I would have had many opportunities, but I could never bring myself to try. At first I thought it was guilt, that I would upset Jack again. I talked to him about it and he told me he just wanted me to be happy. He had grown up a bit."

"Wow."

"Yes. During the last weeks of our first year, we were sitting outside under an awning, watching rain pour and pour. I remember making a comment about being sick of being cold all the time, and I guess that was his trigger, because he brought up how he wanted to travel to America to study for a term. He was convinced that across the Atlantic his ideas and dreams would be reachable, that people would understand him better. He told me he was tired of living the way others wanted him to live, that he wanted to take that special journey for himself. He turned to look at me after revealing all of this and told me he wanted to share that journey with me."

"I'm assuming you did since you're here today."

"I did, but it took me weeks of convincing. I agreed under the pretense that it wasn't romantic, and that we were friends taking a trip. Well, years later I sit before you, and we're still on that trip. It never ended," he smiled, brighter than all the others.

I sat there a moment, taking it all in. "That's really incredible Harvey."

"It's almost straight out of a novel, and sometimes I admit I feel like I'm just a reader skimming through the pages. But if I've learned anything from all these years, Mordecai, is that you should always accept the things life has to offer. Some opportunities come around several times, others are once-in-a-lifetime. You must never let them go, and never ask 'What if?' when it's too late. Never ignore what others have to offer, because everyone has something to give."

I heard a buzzing noise suddenly and Harvey reached into his coat pocket, pulling out an older-looking cell phone. He flipped it open and read whatever was on the screen.

"Jack is being released, what a relief." He got up slowly, pushing his shoulders back to stretch. "Time really flew, didn't it? I better be on my way, Mordecai, but it was a pleasure meeting you. I hope your friend recovers as soon as possible."

He held out his paw and I shook it, this time as firmly as I could.

"By the way, tell him clocks don't belong in microwaves, that's just silly." He winked and walked away, leaving me completely in shock, unable to say a word.

* * *

"_Margaret?"_

_Everything was blurry, but the pinkish-red figure in front of me couldn't have been anyone else._

"_Margaret? Can you hear me?" I felt myself calling out over and over. She had to be listening, she was standing right there. Finally I saw her wings cross and fold in the front, as if she were finally paying attention._

"_I know you can hear me. You have to...take... him back. You have to take Mordecai back."_

_I saw her head shake left to right in slow motion._

"_Please, he isn't...himself...happy without you. You..."_

_I felt a feathery arm caress my side._

_No!_

"_Don't..."_

_It wouldn't stop. It kept touching._

"_Don't let him go. Let...me go."_

_Let me..._

My eyes shot open and I felt my chest rising and falling. I was back in the hospital, still strapped to this crappy bed...but I knew what I was waiting for. It wouldn't be long.

* * *

_Sometimes it takes different mirrors to see different views._


	10. Step Ten: The Gift

**13 Steps**, a Regular Show fanfiction.

_Step Ten: The Gift_

"Dude, look!"

I nudged Mordecai gently, his attention somewhere else. He shook his head lightly then looked down at me, looking lost.

"Look straight ahead," I pointed, finger extended toward the pale spring sky. It had finally stopped raining a couple hours ago, and through the silver clouds there was a double rainbow, their arcs crossing faintly. "You don't see that every day, huh dude?"

His head turned toward the sky, and a small smile crossed his beak. "Yeah, pretty sweet dude." Just as quickly as he had looked, he turned back to the ground, continuing to rake. I let out a small sigh, making sure he wouldn't hear me.

_Like that would work._

I shrugged to myself, picking my own rake up from the damp ground. It had been a couple weeks since I was discharged from the hospital, and from the outside looking in you'd think things had returned to normal. In a way, I guess they had. Mordecai and I were working side by side again, nights were filled with video games and cheesy old movies, and we even found a new shop to go have coffee in. By now my fur looked like someone had buzzed-cut it, but I was thankful it was growing back at all. Even Benson was calmer around me, though I had a hunch it was because I was actually doing work. Yeah, from a distance it looked like things were pretty decent.

The truth was a harsh reality from the world I tried to surround myself in. Mordecai was almost like a zombie; he barely insulted me or tried to joke with me. He was never mean or cruel, and the weird part was, it felt wrong. A part of me wanted him to blame me for everything that had happened, to take his anger out me like a punching bag. Mordecai was never the emotional one compared to me, but this was getting too creepy. Still, I never pressed anything and kept quiet about his attitude. If I made one wrong move again, he'd be gone forever this time. It was better to just go with the flow.

At night, when it was just me and my thoughts, I kept going back to that dream in the hospital, the scene that seemed so real. Had Margaret told Mordecai out of guilt? His story had confused me if anything, but it must have been true, since he never even walked past the shop anymore, and I knew that he wasn't lying about that. I didn't tell Mordecai, but the whole situation seemed...unfinished, like a horror flick where you never get to see who the killer was. Was this the crappy sequel?

Coolness spread through my body suddenly and I turned my face into the sky, and realized it has started to rain again. Raining was a loose term, since it was only sprinkling. The burns had left my skin sensitive to any kind of touch or feeling, and needless to say, it was annoying and uncomfortable. I shivered from the cold chilling my body, but did my best to ignore it. A couple months ago, I would have threw my rake down and ran for the warmth of the house, but now I wouldn't have the heart to leave Mordecai out here to finish the day's work.

Had I changed? Matured? I didn't feel like a whole new Rigby, but it seemed like our lives had completely changed _for_ us. The more and more I replayed the last few months in my head, the crazier I felt. Would this be our lives from now on, Mordecai walking around with no direction, and me with guilt that couldn't be fixed? The thought horrified me. Wasn't there _anything _I could do?

Another shiver shot through my body. I couldn't even rub myself for warmth because of my stupid sensitive skin. Great. My grip on the rake started to tremble, and I realized I wasn't going to last much longer out here.

"Rigby."

I jumped a bit, startled by the sudden call of my name. I turned around and saw Mordecai, watching me. "Go back to the house and get warm. I'll finish up," he simply stated, folding his wings. I couldn't tell if he was annoyed, concerned, or both.

I shook my head softly. I wasn't going to leave him out here to pick up my slack. "I'll be fine, we're almost done anyway."

"I said go back to the house. You're still not completely better and I'll be damned if I'm bringing you back to the hospital because of your pride."

I frowned, looking away. Mordecai may have been acting weird, but his bossiness was still there in full swing. I couldn't help myself and turned back to say something to him, but stopped; my mouth went dry and I couldn't speak.

The world had turned black and white, like an old movie, grays of all different shades were swirling around like a heavy fog. What really caught my attention, though, was the fact that any remaining color I could see was coming from Mordecai. Actually, to be more specific, his chest. His beak was moving up and down with speech, but I couldn't hear a thing. The bright shades were mesmerizing, and I couldn't look away; they were unlike any colors I had ever seen before, vivid and clear.

Swirls of dark blue were intertwining around coils of black so dark I felt myself take steps back in horror. Surrounding the coils was a mist of neon green, almost like poison gas, and deep within the core of all the other colors was a purplish-red, pulsating in a timely beat.

_Maybe they have some sort of meaning._

Despite their curving, twisting motions, I noticed the colors never spread past his chest, and they all had a common motion of spinning in a weird, orbit-like way. My heart was beating faster and faster, and the colors grew dimmer in front of me. The last thing I remember is Mordecai's eyes widening in surprise.

* * *

"Rigby. Rigby, wake up dude."

The voice sounded faint and far away, as if it was were miles away, but right away I knew who it was.

_Mordecai?_

My eyes slowly opened and focused to the light beating down from the ceiling. I let out a groan, but more in anger than surprise. How many times can one guy get knocked unconscious? There was no other explanation as to why I was laying on this bed, obviously indoors.

"Good, you're awake."

I lifted my head to see a blue-feathered face staring back at me, this time a look of concern. "I told you to go inside, but you didn't listen. It's a good thing you're OK, luckily it's only been a few minutes and not an entire night."

I groaned again, resting my head back against the pillow. "It was a mistake, OK? I didn't want to leave you with all the work, dude."

Mordecai's face had a flash of surprise but it quickly dissolved back into a neutral glance, as if he had tried to hide it. "Well, it backfired Rigby, because I ended up doing the work anyway," he remarked, sighing, taking a few steps away to look to the other side of the room. Suddenly all I wanted to do was embrace him in a hug, and tell him how sorry I was. Instead, I shook the feeling off and slowly propped my body up so I was sitting. My paw found my forehead and I rubbed it softly, the pressure heavy.

"Look, I said I'm sorry, what else-"

Mordecai had turned back around to face me, and the colors were still there, radiating from his chest. I couldn't help but gasp softly.

_I wasn't imagining them._

Mordecai must have seen my look of shock and took it as another warning. "Oh crap, Rigby, not again," he said alarmed, and stepped back toward me.

"No, no, I'm f-fine," I stammered, waving my arm in assurance. "I just...thought I saw something."

He sighed again, sitting on the bed with a plop. "This has got to stop, man, you're scaring me." I peered into his chest again and noticed that all of the colors I had seen outside were still there, but now the purplish red core in the center had grown dimmer, and smaller. Or at least I thought.

I kept my cool this time and nodded. "OK, alright, you're right dude. I guess it's been a couple of crazy weeks, but I'll be fine. Promise."

Mordecai didn't look very convinced, but at least he nodded back. "Fine. If you're going to promise anything though, make it that you'll stop pushing yourself when you feel weak, OK?"

"Alright," I replied, letting out a deep exhale. I didn't know where these colors were coming from, but one thing I did know is that they hadn't shown up randomly. They meant something, and I needed to find out what it was.

* * *

That night I lay awake on my cold trampoline, mind reeling, my body tossing and turning. Every idea about where the colors came from and their purpose I thought of didn't make any sense. I was growing more confused and frustrated with every passing minute; I couldn't lie there pretending like I could ignore it anymore...

I closed the back door quietly behind me with a metallic click, and the cool night breeze caressed my fur. I started to walk upright, feeling the dew from the grass wet my toes.

_C'mon Skips, please be awake._

To my relief, I saw the dim light shining through the window of the annex where he lived. I walked up the little path to the front door and knocked quietly. The sound of footsteps patting across the floor got closer, and a moment later I heard the latch of the door unlock, the door creaking open. Skips was there, filling the entire doorway, an annoyed expression on his face. "It's late. This better be important."

"It is," I stated simply, following him inside. We walked into the center of the room and he motioned simply to his weight bench, and I sat down uncomfortably.

"I'm guessing it has something to do with the accident," his gruff voice said without hesitation, looking at me sternly.

"Yeah. How did you-"

He stopped me, raising a hand. "You're forgetting I know everything."

_Of course._

"I guess. Anyway, today I started seeing these weird...colors inside Mordecai when we were doing our work out in the field. They were coming from his chest, and I have no idea what they mean or where they came from."

I peered at Skips in closer detail and noticed I had missed the colors completely when I first came in. They were swirls of off-white, barely visible against his white fur, so I guess that's why. Why were there no actual colors?

He looked down to his chest then back at me, noticing. "I have them too, right?"

I nodded. "You have the swirls, but they're white, not in color. Mordecai had blues, blacks, reds and some green."

He grunted, thinking. "You said they're coming from the chest. Near the heart, right?"

_Heart? Why the heart?_

I shook my head, confused. "I don't get it."

He suddenly stood up. "I've only heard about this happening, but never actually seen it in-person."

"What do you mean?"

He looked back at me. "Those colors you've been seeing, there's a reason why they're only around the chest. Those are heart waves."

"Heart waves?" What the H was Skips talking about?

He sighed. "Rigby, do you know what a mood ring is?"

Of course I did, those things were so tacky and I never thought they actually worked. What was the connection?

"Heart waves are kind of like a mood ring. When a person feels a certain feeling or way, their heart emits waves that are color-coded. The more complex their emotions are, the more colors you'd be able to see. Well, if they could actually see them. Normal beings aren't supposed to be able to see them."

I shook my head again, barely able to grasp what Skips was saying. So I was able to see what people were feeling through "invisible" waves? It didn't make any sense.

"Could this be an effect of the accident?"

Skips nodded. "It's very possible, since the burns you received were technically radioactive waves." He thought for a moment, as if recalling information. "There's no way of knowing if this is permanent or not, or if it's dangerous. I suggest you keep quiet about it. You could really freak people out if they knew the power you had over them."

_Power. _I hadn't even thought of the waves as a power.

"What does each color mean?" I wondered out-loud.

"You'll have to figure that out on your own, some could be obvious but I'm guessing others could be more vague."

I groaned. _Thanks for the help Skips. _Truth was though, he _had _helped, a lot.

"I'm kinda freaked out by this, Skips."

"Just keep quiet about it and try to act normal," he offered simply.

_Acting normal with colors swirling around everyone is going to be impossible._

"I'll try. Thanks Skips."

I left the annex feeling more confused then ever.

* * *

The next couple of days went by way too slowly. I had spent almost every waking minute studying everyone carefully, watching them discreetly as I could while I worked, ate and even relaxed in the living room. The interesting thing was they all had distinctly different waves. Pops' were pale pinks and reds floating calmly without much movement. Benson's were swirling around in different motions, almost like the tilt-a-whirl Mordecai and I had puked on last summer at the state fair. They made me dizzy and were mostly a bright angry red color, a lighter shade of orange around the core. Even Muscle Man had them, an ugly shade of brown that made me think of not-so-pleasant thoughts.

The one who I was keeping an eye on the most, unsurprisingly, was Mordecai. I watched him carefully all day and didn't notice a change most of the morning. The blackness was still here, dark blue coiled around the arms, and the green mist was steady like a screen around the whole area.

It wasn't until after dinner that I noticed an alarming change: the purplish-red core that I had noticed the first time had stopped pulsating all-together. In fact, it wasn't bright at all. It looked dim and lifeless, like someone had flipped an OFF switch.

"You've been pretty quiet," I said, trying to start a conversation. The only other sounds in the room was the upbeat pixelated music from our game bleep-booping.

"I'm not feeling so great," Mordecai simply stated, eyes still fixed on the screen, idly mashing buttons.

"Anything I can do to help?"

He sighed in response, shaking his head slowly. "No, but thanks dude. I'll be alright."

I didn't believe him. I couldn't, seeing that red core growing dimmer.

He got up suddenly, handing me the controller. "Here, play for me. I'm gonna go to bed, OK?"

"Ni-" I began to say, but he was already headed up the stairs. I set down his controller, almost in anger, and stood up myself. There was no way I was going to let this keep going. After watching him and those colors all day, plus the way he was acting in general, I began to realize what I needed to do. My plan had to start now, before it was too late.

I walked into the office quietly, shutting the door behind me, thankful everyone else was asleep by now. I reached for the phone and grabbed it, a piece of paper in my other paw. I read it quickly, then dialed. I knew it was late, but I had a feeling it wasn't too late to call.

_Ring. Ring. Ring._

"Hello?" a sleepy voice answered.

_Do it._

I inhaled quickly. "Margaret, it's Rigby. We _really _need to talk."

* * *

_When does a gift become a curse? Find out next time..._


	11. Step Eleven: The Confrontation

**13 Steps**, a Regular Show fanfiction.

_Step Eleven: The Confrontation_

_Black. Pitch black._

_It was all around me, almost suffocating. I couldn't tell up from down, left from right. I couldn't even call it a place, room or any sort of structure. There was no ceiling, or floor. Was I back with Father Time?_

"_Hello?"_

_Not even an echo. _

"_Hello?" I cried louder, desperately hoping for a response. Still no answer._

_Frustrated, I felt myself screaming out, the yell of someone who feels the kind of internal pain you wouldn't wish on your greatest enemy. The kind of pain you can't just heal physically. The kind of pain that envelops you over a period of time, slowly, like a cancer._

_Hesitantly I felt myself place a foot forward, testing the emptiness. It was solid and I was still standing somehow. I exhaled, trying another step. Solid. As slowly as I felt comfortable, if you could call it that, I was now walking forward. _

"_Mordecai."_

_I pivoted at the sound of my name. It was low, almost in pain. My eyes scanned the darkness, and a brown figure was focusing into view._

_Rigby._

_It looked as if he were on a floor below me, standing out of reach. His head was turned down, his face away from sight._

"_Rigby!" I yelled, trying to get his attention. His head remained turned away, even as I kept calling his name over and over. Why was he ignoring me? I stomped the void below me, an anger spreading through me that had never existed until now...and I heard a deafening shatter of what sounded like glass below me. _

"_Argh!"_

_My cry of surprise was enveloping in the sound of rushing wind carrying me downward, further into this hell. Was that where I was? Hell? I lost control my body to the gravity around me and for a moment it seemed like I was in suspended motion. I clawed the air hopelessly, hoping for something to grab. In an instant I was falling again, this time faster. Suddenly I felt myself slamming into the ground with a force that should have killed me. Instead, the wind was knocked out of me, and I gasped for breath. Groaning, I tried to sit up, the pain excruciating. I shook my head, now realizing I was on the same level as Rigby. I limped over to him, his head still turned away, still ignoring my presence. Hadn't he called out to me?_

"_Look at me! LOOK AT ME!" I yelled, my wings grabbing his thin shoulders, meaning to grip fur. I had grabbed fur all right...I had pulled it right off his skin. I gasped in disgust as my wings now held large clumps, brown and mangled. The fur began to feel warm on my feathers, growing hotter every second. I threw them away, stricken with fear and guilt. Lying on the void near my feet I could see the smoke rising from them in trails of silver, swirling into nothing. _

"_Look at me," I said again softly, desperate, hot tears forming in my eyes. I meant to grab him again, but his body tottered to one side, slowly, like a swaying bridge. I watched in horror as he collapsed. The smoke had returned, starting as wispy silver trail, emitting from his side. The trails were growing now, becoming hot steam, carrying in all directions. Small yellow flames began to dance on the edges of his remaining fur, starting their way from his feet, crawling slowly all the way to his head. Before I knew it, the yellow had burst into an angry orange, traces of blue and bright white forming beneath._

_I fell to my knees, disbelief clouding my mind and a numbing feeling of horror spreading through my entire body. I couldn't save him; I was useless._

_I called his name again, shouting it over and over until..._

* * *

...my eyes shot open the sound of a siren buzzing in my ears, sharp and sudden. The alarm. It was all a dream, yeah. Of course I was still with Margaret and of course Rigby was still my best bro. A few months time in my dream were just hours of sleep and-

I realized it wasn't the alarm: I was in mid-scream, actually smelling the acrid bark-like scent of fire from my newest nightmare. I shot up and covered my mouth with my wings, muffling the sound. I exhaled, shivering, a cold sweat chilling my feathers.

_Why me?_

The nightmares had started ever since Margaret left, and had only gotten worse with time. Each one was more horrific than the last, each of them reminded me of the mistakes I had made, the failures I couldn't stop. Whoever said time heals all wounds was full of crap. I sighed, rubbing my forehead. It was exhausting, physically and mentally, and the worse part was I had no idea how to stop them. I couldn't ask Skips, he'd tell Benson eventually. Pops obviously wouldn't understand, and Muscle Man...I shivered at the thought. But the one person I _definitely_ couldn't bring myself to discuss this with was_-_

Rigby was coming up the stairs, no, scampering; with each creaky step he was getting closer. I panicked, throwing the sheets back over me. Just as I threw myself back down on my mattress with a small, padded thud, the door to our bedroom swung open, and there he was standing in the doorway with a look of concern and fear.

"Mordecai, what's wrong?" he heaved, eyes wide. Yeah, he had been running.

"What? Nothing's wrong dude," I lied, lowering my voice and making it raspy like I had been sleeping until Rigby bust the door open.

_Just go away Rigby. Please._

"I heard a scream," he frowned, walking into the room, still breathing hard.

"It was the alarm, everything's fine."

_Go away. Please. Stop caring._

"That didn't sound like the alarm, Mordecai. If you had a bad dream it's OK."

I hid deeper in the covers, hoping Rigby would get the hint and leave. It happened like this almost every morning. It had been going on for weeks as a result of the nightmares, and Rigby was starting to catch on. I didn't have the heart to tell him to leave, which drove me crazy. I wanted to scream in his face, let me know it the worst way that this was all his fault, that I didn't want him living in the same space as me anymore. Deep down, though, I knew we _both _had caused this disaster.

"I wasn't dreaming, you woke me up, OK?"

I heard Rigby sigh. "Fine, dude, I guess I was hearing things." I heard footsteps lowly shuffle out of the room, followed by the sound of the door shutting behind him, gently. Too gently.

I almost wished he would have slammed it. Burying my head into the pillow, I pleaded to no one for a dreamless sleep.

* * *

I shook my head slowly, defeated. Mordecai was lying, no doubt about it. Navy blues and blacks were angrily swirling around his heart, beaming through the sheets. His core had lost Color during the night, and was flickering like an old light bulb about to sputter out and die.

_Die._

I shivered at that word that seemed all too real. The tension between us was awkward and awful, and it hurt seeing just _how _bad it had become. I couldn't see my own Colors, as I referred to them now, but I could feel them deep within me; I could almost feel their angry heat.

Still, I knew I didn't have time to keep dwelling on the Colors and the insanity of the way things had become. I had a plan, and it was in motion. There was a sense of determination in me I never had felt before, and maybe, just maybe, it would help me make this a success.

* * *

We had chosen the coffee shop because it was the easiest place for both of us, at least by distance. Standing in front of the building felt odd, like I had never been here before in my life. I really didn't want to go in, but at this point I had no choice.

I push the glass door open and stepped inside. Yeah, everything looked the same, so why did it feel so different? It's not like it had been _years_ since I stepped foot in here. I scanned the shop, waves of different emotions hitting me. Guilt, fear, sadness, anger and even a trace of happiness; was that left from the good times we actually had here? Laughing about anything and everything, making fun of Benson behind his back, all the things we wanted to do in our lives? It seemed so far away.

I saw a red wing waving from the back, and hesitantly I started to walk to her four-person table, weaving through the other tables scattered with other customers. I took a deep breath, and put on a brave face.

_Get it together, Rigby._

"Hey, Rigby," she smiled, as if she was totally unaware of why I was her. "Have a seat."

I nodded, taking the chair opposite of her. "Thanks Margaret." As our stares met, I replayed the night I had spent with her in my head. The way she slowly undressed like she was teasing, the seductive look she had given me before I hopped into her bed, the way our bodies managed to intertwine-

_Stop it. Stop being a jerk. You almost lost your best friend because of this Capital W._

"Are you OK?" she asked, a frown forming on her beak.

"Yeah, sorry, I zoned out for a second," I lied, looking away embarrassed. This wasn't going to be easy.

"It's alright. I'm surprised you called me," she casually replied, a soft smile reappearing, but I could have sworn she had a playful hint in her voice. The tone of voice that said, "Cut the crap, Rigby, and let's screw." I didn't want her thinking I was checking out her lady pecs, but I couldn't deny the Colors, deep purples in thick, swirling motions that I hadn't seen in the guys back at the park. Mixed in were circular spots of green. What did the purples mean? And was she jealous? Of what?

"Yeah, it's important. Really important," I said, not returning the smile.

"Yeah?" That playfulness again.

My tail switched nervously underneath the seat. "It's about Mordecai."

"Oh," she commented, suddenly looking bored. Her wings crossed and folded, a look of displeasure replacing that smile instantly. "So Mordecai told you I broke it off, huh?"

I felt my muzzle contract in surprise. "Yeah, you didn't think he would?"

She almost look taken aback, like I was a zombie from Zombie Dinner Party about to devour her. "After all that happened...with you and me...I thought he would have hated you. I mean, can you blame me?"

I had to kinda agree with her with her logic, but she obviously didn't understand the bond Mordecai and I had, the years of friendship that defined us.

"He was really upset by it, yeah, but we're still friends. He's my bro, for life." I shifted in my chair uncomfortably, swallowing.

She nodded cautiously, the green spots growing noticeably brighter. It was distracting but at the same time gave me clues as to where her heart was. There was an awkward pause, the two of us looking in different directions.

"So Rigby," she spoke up, breaking the silence. "Why do you want to talk about Mordecai? I'm...kind of over it to be honest."

I felt myself blink in disbelief. _Over it? Mordecai was the best thing to happen to you!_

I kept my cool though. "Margaret, Mordecai misses you, bad. He's getting worse every day without you, and it just shows how much he really cares about you. He loves you you know."

"I know he does, Rigby, I just can't say I feel the same," she said coolly. "He's a nice guy and all, but he was always worrying about something."

_She's making this impossible._

"So what if he worried? Maybe he was worried about making sure you were happy. Don't you want a guy who treats you right?" I asked, almost desperately.

She rolled her eyes and sat up straighter, her stare burning into mine. "Look, Rigby, I know you're worried about Mordecai, he's your best friend, I get it. But please don't try and force him back on me. He's a good guy, I'll say it again, but I have an attraction for guys who are more...up front, and masculine. Mordecai is shy, and unsure of himself most of the time. I thought maybe if I spent more time with him I could help him gain more confidence, but I guess it didn't work out."

I felt my blood begin to boil, fighting back tears. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this.

I lost it.

"Mordecai...is one of the best people you'll ever meet! He gave his heart to you, trusting you, so that he could be there for you in a better way than a typical jerk off. How can you just throw that away when he doesn't deserve that heartbreak. He didn't do anything wrong!" I said through clenched teeth, my paws clenching the table with a death-grip.

She looked alarmed. "Rigby, don't, not here..."

"No! I don't care!" I yelled, and drew the attention of the other customers, their heads turning toward our table. "He'll forgive you, he'll work on his confidence. I'll even help him. I'll-" I broke at that point, crying softly, turning my head down-ward,. I shamefully blinked back the hot tears.

_What a loser I am._

When I looked back up, I expected Margaret to be glaring at me. Instead, to my shock, she almost looked...sympathetic. "This isn't about me anymore, is it Rigby?"

I looked away, ashamed. I couldn't tell her, not like this. Though I didn't want to admit it, the dam inside me was breaking.

"I guess not."

The robin leaned in, taking a wing and placing it on my paw. Surprisingly, I didn't retract, and let her keep it there. Through blurry eyes I realized that there was a new Color in Margaret's heart: a bright pink, contrasting with the purples. The greens were fading, barely visible.

"Say it," she said simply, her gaze fixed on me. She knew.

"Say what?" I mumbled, looking away. My tail was twitching wildly now.

"Say it Rigby."

I looked back at her. "Fine, I love Mordecai. I've loved him for years, I don't care if it's gay, or wrong, or whatever. It's the truth," I breathed, wiping my eyes with the back of my paw. "It doesn't matter though, he loves you and I want to give him what he wants. He wants you."

She sighed, but a sad smile creeped onto her face. "Is that what YOU want?"

I shook my head sadly. "No, but I think it's what's right. I've been really selfish all my life, and I feel like this could redeem...some of it."

Margaret shifted in her chair and looked me in the eye again. "Rigby, maybe it's time for you to stop living for Mordecai and start living for yourself."

My ears perked at the word time, and suddenly I was having flashbacks of Father's Time void. I remembered what he had said to me.

_Time has a way of working its own magic. _

It was starting to make sense in a weird way. Maybe...Margaret had a point. Maybe I had never really looked for my own happiness. Despite this, I shook my head. "I do know I'd like Mordecai to like me back, but it isn't going to happen. He doesn't see me like that, and I can't ruin what he have left."

She rubbed my hand with her wing, and it was oddly comforting. "So what if he doesn't? I mean really Rigby, give yourself a little credit. There's other people out there and Mordecai will always be special to you, and I know he feels the same way."

I sighed. "It's just so hard to see him like this."

She nodded. "I know, and I'm sorry I caused it, but there's only so much you can do for him, Rigby. All you can really do is keep being there for him; he'll have to find a way to cope and pull himself back up. You can't do it for him."

I would never stop being there for Mordecai, ever.

"Tell you what," she continued. "Would you like me to have a talk with him? Maybe if he had some closure he could figure this whole thing out in a lot less pain."

For the first time in months, my heart actually felt hope. It was strong. "Thanks Margaret."

"I'll come by sometime tomorrow afternoon, after my shift," she said, smiling.

I nodded in approval, already wishing it was tomorrow. We both got up and headed to the front.

"You know, Rigby, you're really cute. I mean that. Mordecai's lucky."

I actually grinned, a pure grin, blushing softly. "Save it for tomorrow."

She laughed softly and we went our separate ways. Maybe Margaret wasn't as bad as I thought she was. Maybe behind all the looks and flirts, she was a good person.

I still felt like there was a lot more to be said, and done, but I felt like things were connecting. I couldn't hurt anymore; I had to keep it going.

* * *

"Have you been in bed all day?" Rigby asked, walking into the room. He had been out for a couple hours. Maybe Benson had gotten ahold of him.

I switched off my headphones and placed them on my dresser, sitting up. "Yeah, I think I'm sick."

_Sick of my life maybe._

Rigby had a big goofy smile on his face despite my obvious lack of energy, which was weird, because smiling wasn't really our thing anymore. I didn't want to admit it, but it made me happy to see him more like himself. The anger in me had died down some.

"You better not be sick tomorrow, Mordecai, because there's someone coming to see you." He grinned at this, like he had this amazing secret.

I groaned. I didn't want a visitor. "My dad called, didn't he? He probably wants me to move back in, that crazy-"

"No, you idiot, it's not your dad. You'll just have to wait until tomorrow, kay?" He laughed to himself and I shook my head.

"You're insane Rigby. Seriously."

He laughed again. "Probably." Suddenly he walked over to my bed and stared at me. Just when I was about to tell him off, he hugged my torso, his fur warm.

"Gross," I groaned. "Are you sure you're the real Rigby? Hugs, seriously?"

_Thanks Rigby._

* * *

As I hugged Mordecai, I glanced down, and saw that his core was starting to glow again. It wasn't bright, but it was there. I smiled.

* * *

_As mushy as a moral in an episode of Full House, I swear (sorry younger readers if you don't get that reference). In every stormy sky there is an eventual break, and the sun comes out._

_See you next time!_


	12. Step Twelve: The Damaged

**13 Steps**, a Regular Show fanfiction.

_Step Twelve: The Damaged_

"Wake up, Mordecai!"

_Wh...what?_

"Dude, wake up!"

_Guh, no...five more minutes._

I felt a small pressure on my wing bringing me closer to conscious, and opened my eyes slowly, the sun's rays harsh and blinding. The pressure continued and it took me a couple seconds to realize that the pressure I was feeling was Rigby's grip, tight and eager on my feathers. I groaned, shrugging him off lazily.

I opened my beak to tell him off, to let me sleep longer, but his smile silenced me, radiating and cheerful, too cheerful to come from someone like Rigby. In fact, it was a little creepy. "Good, you're awake!"

I sat up carefully, using my wings to prop my body up, and noticed Rigby's eager smile hadn't left his muzzle. His stare met mine, own full of that same secret knowing. What was he so-

_The quote-unquote visitor._

I rolled my eyes dramatically, letting out a soft sigh. Rigby hadn't told me who it was last night, and some anticipation crept its way inside me without warning. Who was it? An old high school friend we knew? I didn't exactly have a Mordecai Fan Club or something waiting for me.

"Rigby, are you gonna tell me who this mysterious visitor is or what?" I asked, throwing the sheets off me and swinging my legs to the side of the bed. "You're acting really weird, even for you."

He just kept on smiling. "Can't tell you, dude, but you'll find out soon. They're coming around one."

I glanced at my alarm clock. 11:30. I stood up and stretched, yawning. "This is a joke, huh? One will roll around and no one come, then you'll rub it my face and scream, 'GOTCHA!' Just admit it," I remarked smartly, feeling annoyed. Truthfully, I wasn't in the mood to deal with Rigby's childish antics.

_Maybe he's telling the truth. In fact, maybe it's-_

No, no, it wouldn't be. That was wishful thinking, and wishful thinking only gets you hurt and disappointed. I knew this all too well, especially from the past couple months.

"It's not, I promise," he said, his smile thinning but his gaze never leaving mine. Rigby was a HORRIBLE liar, so the fact that he could look me in the eye was definitely a sign that he might just be telling the truth this time.

_Does that scare you?_

I shrugged my thoughts away and nodded. "Fine. I just hate surprises."

Rigby nodded right back. "Hm. Hm. You won't hate this one. In fact, you'll probably thank me for it."

I could feel my beak form a puzzled expression. Thank him for it? Who could possibly come that would make me thank him?

"Whatever, dude. I'm hungry, let's get some breakfast."

I wasn't very hungry. In fact, I wasn't hungry at all. A gnawing feeling was settling into my stomach and at that point I just wanted to end this little conversation. Luckily Rigby didn't protest and nodded again.

I walked down the staircase, Rigby followed upright behind me. The gnawing feeling got worse, like it was slowly spread through my body. I couldn't shake it, despite the attempts I took to try and relax. "Calm before the storm," I breathed quietly, thinking out-loud. That phrase replayed itself in front of me like a giant marquee sign, lit up and bright.

"Huh?" Rigby asked questioningly behind me.

"Nothing."

_It DID scare me._

* * *

I could sense Mordecai's fear from the minute I woke him up, and an unexpected feeling of guilt had rolled in, killing the optimistic happiness I had been so confident in yesterday. He was nervous, and I didn't need the sight of the swirls of dark gray gripping his core to understand that.

It was alright though, he'd be fine once Margaret came to visit. Yeah, he's going to be so surprised, he won't see it coming. She''ll talk to him, remember how awesome he is and I'm sure by the end of the day Mordecai will have her back. We'll be bros again and he'll finally be able to forgive me.

_Maybe in a perfect world._

My own nerves were shot as that voice in the back of my mind got louder and clearer, and there was nothing I could do as the doubt grew. Still, I truly believed this was what needed to be done. It HAD to work, there wasn't another option. That optimism, as small as it was, would help get me through the morning.

* * *

_I can't eat this._

I put down the half of sandwich I had left back onto my plate and sighed. My appetite just wasn't there, all because of this mystery guest Rigby had planned. Why was this making me so nervous? Maybe it was the big deal he was making about it. He wouldn't tell me who it was or even why they were coming, and that put me on edge.

_Just relax, you're over-thinking this._

Maybe I was.

"Dude, are you OK?"

I looked up and my glance met Rigby's. He looked worried, and I immediately regretted putting down my sandwich. It seemed like every little thing I did was being carefully watched by him, and it was starting to get to me. Was he trying to make up for everything, or was it something else?

"I'm fine," I lied, looking back down at my plate. "I guess I'm not that hungry."

That look again.

"It happens," he noted, that same knowing smile forming again. "Besides, it's almost time for-"

The doorbell rang with a musical chime and I jumped, surprised. Had time really passed this quick? I glanced at the small wall clock behind the table. Sure enough it was quarter past one.

"Oh! Awesome!" Rigby shouted, bolting out of his chair like it was hot lava. "C'mon Mordecai, they're here!"

_They're? You could at least say their gender, Rigby. _

I drug my feet behind Rigby, who was on all fours now, running to the door eagerly. "Hurry up man!" he called, turning his head back toward me.

"I don't need to RUN to the front door," I noted, sighing. Maybe I could tell Rigby I wasn't feeling well, that I needed to lie down, and everyone would finally leave me alone. I never asked for a visitor, or Rigby to care so much. I didn't care, so why should he?

_Aren't you curious of who it is?_

No, not-

Alright, maybe I was. Maybe I wanted to see what all this hassle was for. Maybe if I bought into Rigby's little game it would satisfy him so he'd stop trying so hard. Maybe.

I watched as Rigby stood up and placed his paw on the door, looking back at me again, smiling. "You ready?"

"Just open the door," I said, rolling my eyes. Enough with the games, dude. He shrugged and turned the bolt with a metallic _click_, then opened the door, moving out of the way.

"Hey Rigby."

I knew who it was before she even spoke, and my heart sunk and soared at the time, if that was even possible. I was shaking softly, my nerves shot.

Margaret.

"Hey Mordecai," she said, giving me an embarrassed smile. I couldn't register that the girl I loved was standing here in the doorway, greeting me. It was like...someone dying and coming back to life. You just didn't prepare for it. I opened my beak to greet her back, but I couldn't speak. It felt like my mouth had been stuffed with cotton. I looked over at Rigby with a blank desperate look, as if he could explain this all and still make us all look somewhat sane.

"I think Mordecai's just a little surprised," Rigby apologized for me, grinning at Margaret. "You can come in."

"Thanks," she laughed nervously, stepping inside the house as Rigby shut the door behind her. There was a moment of silence, awkward and empty. Margaret's gaze met mine for a split second, then was broken as she looked away, blushing.

_What's going on here?_

"Mordecai, are you still with us?" Rigby asked, waving a paw in front of me.

Finally I found the words. "Yeah, I...Hey Margaret," I managed, giving her a small wave of my wing. It seemed stupid, but I didn't want to hug her. I didn't know if that would drive her away again.

"Hey," she repeated, looking somewhat uncomfortable. I grimaced, angry for not speaking to her sooner.

_Stupid._

Rigby stood in-between us, tail swaying idly. "Mordecai, Margaret's here to...talk to you."

_Talk? What about?_

She softly nodded, confirming. "Rigby...ran into me yesterday, and told me you were feeling pretty down. I wanted to talk to you because you deserve better than what happened at the hospital."

I felt a familiar lump in my throat rise. Rigby "ran" into Margaret again? Were they...

_You're being paranoid. Why would he invite her here, to see YOU?_

Still, this whole thing had thrown me completely off. I had no time to prepare for this, and Rigby completely went behind my back again. A dull anger was brewing in me.

"Rigby, can I see you in the kitchen for a sec?" I asked through gritted teeth, looking down at Rigby, my eyes like daggers.

"Uh, sure," he replied quietly. I wanted him to feel my anger.

"Margaret, we'll be right back, OK?" I turned to her, hoping she wasn't going to just leave once we left the room.

She nodded. "It's fine." She walked over to the couch and sat down, wings folded against her lap.

"C'mon Rigby," I ordered, grabbing his arm and leading him away.

"Ow, you're hurting me," he whined, tripping over himself as I dragged him. I didn't care, this was typical Rigby, and typical Rigby was ruining my life. Once in the kitchen, I let go of his arm.

"What the hell is this?" I whispered angrily. "Why is Margaret here?"

He looked away, almost shyly.

"Answer me. Why is Margaret here?" I repeated, trying my best not to raise my voice.

"All of this has been my fault, but I'm going to fix this dude," Rigby looked back at me suddenly, eagerness in his voice. "This is your chance to get Margaret back."

So this was what this was about. I groaned, throwing my wings up in the air. "Rigby, you could have told me, I'm totally off-guard here!" I hissed at him.

His face had a guilty look again, but still, he looked determined. "You would have stopped me."

_He's probably right._

Still, I wouldn't admit that to him. "Dude, I have no idea what I'd say to her now," I sighed. "This is insane."

Rigby patted my back softly. "Look, Mordecai, you just have to be honest with her. Remind her of the good times and she'll remember how awesome you are. If she sees how much you want her back, maybe there's hope man."

"She said we were through at the hospital, I told you that," I reminded him, shaking my head.

"Well, Margaret's here now, take advantage of that. It couldn't hurt to try."

_This could be your last chance._

I peered into the living room, watching Margaret, her features glowing from the rays of sunlight shining through the window. I looked back at Rigby, and he gave me a thumbs-up.

"_...it couldn't hurt."_

* * *

The sun was bright today, not a cloud in sight. We walked side-by-side along our favorite trail, which surrounded the pond that served as the middle of the park. The water was sparkling bright white amongst the dark blue, and in those small rippling waves I could remember the dates we had. They were flooding into my mind, and they brought me into bittersweet nostalgia. I was with her again, only this time I wasn't hers. The urge to hold her wing was unbearable.

"I love this park," Margaret spoke, looking at me smiling. "You're so lucky to work here."

I returned the smile. "Define lucky." It felt good to smile again.

We stopped at the trail's look-out point, and past the lake and the looming trees, the city skyline loomed in the distance. Everything felt so normal, and I guess that's what scared me, because it wasn't.

"So how's Rigby feeling? I noticed his fur is finally growing back."

Did she have to bring him up?

"He's fine," I replied simply. "He said there's a burning feeling on his skin now and then but it's probably just sensitivity from the burns healing."

She nodded. "He's been through a lot, Mordecai. What we did...it was wrong. Besides that, though, you're really lucky to have someone like him watching your back."

Not this again. "Seems like I watch his back more than he watches mine," I said coolly. "What he did...it's hard to forgive him."

"We all make mistakes, Mordecai, no one's perfect." I expected her to be angry, or upset, but if anything she sounded reflective, as if remembering a far-away memory. "I've really been thinking about my past relationships, and I realized, I played the victim. I was afraid to show my real self in fear of being hurt." She looked back at me, smiling again. "You helped me realize that. At some point you just have to let the past go and look towards the future."

_So what does our...her future hold?_

I nodded softly. "I'm...glad I could help you realize some things. Our dates, the time we spent together, everything about you – was incredible." I hesitated. "I wish we could keep it going."

She sighed softly. "Mordecai, you're amazing, I've know that for a fact. But what I said in the hospital about needing time to heal, that's something I definitely meant."

I swallowed hard, desperately looking into her eyes. "We could heal together."

There was pause, the longest pause I'd ever waited through. "I know you think I'm being harsh Mordecai, but you can respect the fact that I need to figure things out, can't you? I'm not leaving town tomorrow or anything like that." Margaret smiled, the saddest smile I'd ever seen.

_Please..._

"Mordecai, look at me," she said sternly yet softly, bringing a wing to my cheek. I could feel dampness there and realized there were tears. I couldn't help them.

"There's a guy back at the house who would do _anything_ to make you happy, and not a lot of people have what you have in Rigby. It's amazing, once-in-a-lifetime. I know it's scary, because you think of him as your best friend. Sometimes, amazingly, best friends can be the best lovers. Don't be afraid anymore. Don't be afraid to take a chance."

I swallowed again, hard. "I don't like Rigby like that."

She kept her wing on my cheek, rubbing it softly. "You don't have to explain anything to me. Just try and explain it to yourself."

"I can't deal with this," I sighed, the tears hot on my feathers. I hated them. I hated to cry.

"You can," she said sternly. "No one's asking you to take a bullet for Rigby. Just give him a chance. He's not just an annoyance, he's special."

I sat down, resentful and angry. My shot was over. I buried my head in my wings and felt Margaret sit down next to me, a wing around my shoulder. This only made the tears run faster.

* * *

Fuck Margaret. Fuck Rigby.

I turned the knob to our room and threw it open the door, the force slamming it against the wall. I rubbed my eyes roughly, as if trying to rub out the red that was probably sunk in, reminding me how I failed.

Rigby's stupid plan didn't work, it only made things worse. That's all he was good at, making things worse.

_He's so lucky he's not here right now, I'd..._

I walked over to my bed and sat hard onto it, clenching my fists. My mind was racing. What would I do now? Would I quit? Make Rigby quit?

_Slosh. _I heard the sound of liquid below me, surprise breaking my anger. I reached down to see what my foot had bumped into.

_Rigby's..._

I held it in one wing, staring into the clear bottle hypnotized. After a couple minutes, I twisted off the cap, its sharp odor inviting.

* * *

I had been out for almost the whole day, keeping myself busy. All in all it was a pretty relaxing day considering how the morning started. I had hit Cheezers for a grilled cheese for lunch, went to see Zombie Dinner Party for the dozenth time, and I even had enough change left over to hit the arcade.

As I walked through the park, the sun was setting, casting a glow of purple and reds over the pond. I was excited to see Mordecai and hear some good news. Maybe we'd even play some games before bed, and he'd thank me for bringing this plan into action. I wouldn't even mind if Margaret was still there.

I unlocked the door and opened it, stepping inside. No one in the living room. What if...

I grinned. Benson would drop his balls if he knew what Mordecai was up to, that is, if they were really up there doing what I thought they were doing.

I walked up the stairs, softly, just in case. I leaned against our door, putting an ear against it. No sounds.

_Maybe he went back to her place._

I knocked, something I hadn't done before, and waited.

"Come in, buuuu-dee!" It was Mordecai's voice, but it sounded...off.

_Don't go in there._

Why not? What could-

I opened the door and right away my gut was telling me I should have walked away. My trampoline was upside down, thrown against the wall. Mordecai's mattress had been flipped, awkwardly facing in a diagonal direction. Garbage and games and who knows what else was thrown all over the room.

"Well look who it is! Mister Homewrecker Rigbone himself!"

I turned around and jumped; Mordecai was hiding behind the door, as if he had been waiting. "Did you have a good day? I sure didn't!" He looked like a wreck. His eyes were bloodshot and wild, and his feathers were ruffled and messy.

My fur was stinging from the chill I felt. I was scared; this wasn't Mordecai. It was a monster that happened to look just like him. "Mordecai, what...what's going on dude?" I asked weakly, carefully walking toward my broken makeshift bed.

"Ohhhh, not much, not much. My best friend screwed my girlfriend, ruined my life. Same old same old," he laughed, but there was no humor in it. I shivered. He was walking toward me now, shuffling awkwardly.

_It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Margaret, where are you?_

As he got closer, I noticed a sharp, familiar odor coming for him. I sniffed at the air and...

_Oh. No. No no no._

It was the smell of vodka, something I had experience with. Was it weeks ago? Months? It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Mordecai, let's talk, alright?" I can-"

"NO!" he screamed suddenly. "NO MORE TALKING! NO MORE FIXING! JUST SHUT UP!" He dug his fingers into my shoulders, and I winced at the harsh, sudden pain.

"Mordecai, stop!" I yelled, shivering. "Please dude!"

I wasn't just afraid now, I was sure I was going to die. Mordecai had snapped and it was all my fault. It was my fault my fault my fault my-

He let go of me, drawing back. Our gazes met and in his eyes I saw the fear, the hurt, everything he had hidden so privately. He was still in there, deep down.

"Rigby, I-" he started, choking back a drunken cough. "Dude, I-"

I backed away, still very afraid. I felt my body lower itself to all fours and I was gone, running. Running from a mess I couldn't clean, couldn't fix. He called after me. "Rigby-"

For a single moment I considered going back, but I knew I couldn't. As I ran down the steps, I realized I had no idea where I was going. It wasn't until I was far from the house, and Mordecai, that I finally broke down. I was at a loss for breath, and sanity.

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry._

* * *

_Those who repeat history are condemned to repeat it..._

_Until then, see you at the end._


	13. Step Thirteen:

**13 Steps**, a Regular Show fanfiction.

_Step Thirteen: The..._

...clouds weren't breaking. If anything, the sky only turned a couple shades lighter from the black sky of night to the gray of a stormy dawn. I turned my muzzle up to the sky and felt the rain pelt my fur, but it hardly mattered; I was already soaked and shivering. The weather had mirrored my thoughts in an all-too-perfect way: When I had left Mordecai and Margaret to talk yesterday, it had been sunny and clear, and I had hoped that maybe things would maybe go back to the way they were, and we would move on from the mistakes we had made. Our friendship could have found some sort of new strength that we never had before.

Instead, I was alone in an unfamiliar place, an escapee of Mordecai's hatred.

Did he really hate me?

If he got upset enough to drink, there was really no doubt in my mind. The look in his eyes when he had grabbed me was terrifying; the way he dug his claws into me, I could feel every ounce of his anger and pain.

_You caused it. You pushed him over the edge._

But I was just trying to help!

_You should know by now when you try and help, you make things worse. You're the annoying kid brother no one wants around._

I felt my head lower in shame at my own comments. I had never been this confused in my life, not since...my dad. All night I had been recalling the chaos and emptiness of that time in my life. I had run from those feelings because I felt vulnerable. It was easier to just act like a fool then let anyone in, to explain just how broken I was over his death. All of the insane adventures I went through with Mordecai actually kept me sane, and occupied, just like video games. When I was busy I didn't have to think, or justify myself.

But now, it looked like the guy I had depended on to understand me would be lost by a horrible decision. I was realizing that no matter what I had done after that night to make things right, had been useless. Could I really blame him?

_Margaret wasn't even THAT attached to Mordecai. She admitted it._

That didn't matter. If Mordecai's heart belonged to her, that was enough...even if it didn't hold value to her. Why did I trust Margaret to take him back after the way she treated him the first time? How could I have been so desperate?

I was trying to cling onto a hope that had never been there. Now, I had no idea where I was going next. I couldn't be this burden anymore, especially to someone I

_(loved)_

cared so much for. I'd go back to the house one last time; it was time to plan my good-byes. Thunder boomed above me, but I hardly noticed it.

* * *

I heaved again into the toilet, but it was dry and painful. I think by now all of the alcohol was out of my system, but the disgust and shame was deep in there, wrenching my guts. I flushed and tried to stand up slowly, my head throbbing and making me dizzy in the worst way possible. I grabbed the sink for leverage and felt myself moan from the disorientation.

_What a mess._

I steadied myself and looked into the mirror, blood-shot eyes looking back at me. I didn't even recognize that guy; he looked like me, and I'm sure he sounded like me too, but it wasn't me. The guy in that mirror had let anger consume him and ignored the help that was offered. He let the world beat him down because he knew he deserved it.

I turned my head down and away, unable to look anymore. It was shameful.

_You hurt Rigby._

I didn't know what I was doing.

_You did. You knew he wouldn't fight back. He would never lay a finger on you and you used that against him._

Enough of this. I walked back into our

_(my?)_

room and sat on my bed, a mess of frustrations. I hadn't meant to go ballistic on Rigby, but it happened. And, well, maybe he deserved it. When he brought Margaret here it had only made the hurt worse, even if she _had_ left our walk on good terms. She had even mentioned dinner soon, and that she'd always consider me a friend. It didn't matter though; without her here, as my girlfriend, it didn't mean enough to make it right, or OK.

_Rigby didn't change her mind that night. Her mind had already been made up._

Yet no matter how many times I thought it, it didn't add up or seem right. Yeah, I had that excuse on Rigby and he knew it.

_No amount of apologizing on his part will change how you feel. Blaming him is easier than blaming Margaret. You think everything bad that happens to him is justified._

I looked over at Rigby's broken trampoline. One of the legs had snapped off, and I found that this make-shift bed was depressing to look at. Maybe it wasn't the steel, springs and fabric that did it, but what it represented. It was like I had broke the past itself. I couldn't fix it myself, but maybe Skips could. I would just lie and say we were wrestling or something stupid like that.

_The something stupid part wouldn't be such a lie._

I remembered that Rigby had

_(ran away)_

left for the night, and I couldn't blame him. Hopefully he'd be near, maybe still sleeping on the couch downstairs. Maybe, he could finally put all of this to rest. The idea seemed impossible, and really overwhelming, but Rigby and I had to settle this and come to a solid ground about everything that had happened. We owed it to each other.

_After you grabbed him he'll probably be afraid to even see you._

This is Rigby we're talking about. He'll be feeling better by now.

_Have you?_

I flinched at my own comment; the truth behind it was all too real. Still, as uncomfortable as it was, Rigby and I NEEDED to talk. I would try and see things from his point of view, and make sure my anger was in check. I could put this Margaret drama behind me...for now.

* * *

I actually used the the handrail walking down the steps. Each one was a challenge, as each step made my head throb and ache. I had to be careful I didn't go tumbling down like an idiot. As I stepped down onto the last step, I leaned over the rail to look over the couch.

No Rigby.

I couldn't help but groan; now I'd have to go search the park for him. I was feeling sick already, obviously, and the last thing I wanted to do was cover acres of property. Still, for him, I would.

I opened the front door and was immediately greeted with a windy chill, as if it had been expecting me. "Hey Mordecai," it would say smugly, "I'm here to make your search for Rigby even more unbearable. Isn't that great?"

Perfect.

I thought of running back up to the room and grabbing my scarf, but the prospect of climbing up and down those stairs again made me decide against it. I closed the door behind me and scanned what I could see of the park. Overhead the clouds were steady and violently gray; a storm was definitely brewing in them.

I decided to start at Skips' because I had to talk to him about Rigby's trampoline anyway. I made my way over to his sublet, shielding my face with a wing, the wind's force pushing against me, as if it meant to blow me away. I really didn't want to do this; couldn't I just wait for Rigby to come back?

_And leave him out there feeling like crap? What a good friend._

I knocked on Skips' door a couple times, then stepped back. I could hear some rustling and I looked to the ground, waiting. A moment later the door opened and his large frame had filled the doorway.

"Yeah? What is it?"

Something about his gruff voice seemed more intense than usual, and it honestly put me more on edge. His eyes glared at me with hot intensity.

"Hey Skips," I began, clearing my throat. "I kinda came to ask you a favor."

He didn't say anything, just continued to stare.

"Uh, well, Rigby and I were wrestling last night and we accidentally broke his trampoline. Do you think you could fix one of the legs? It broke off. But if you're busy, I totally understand and-"

"I'll do it," he said roughly, interrupting me. "You guys shouldn't be breaking things so often. Benson's gonna find out. He always does."

I sighed a bit, relieved he wasn't going to kill me. "I know, you're right, we were being dumb. I guess I can lug it down here later."

He nodded_. "_Where's Rigby? Shouldn't he be helping you?"

_Well..._

"I...don't know where he is."

Skips sighed, and peered out past me. "He shouldn't be wandering around outside. I'm not his mother or anything, but it's gonna be a bad storm. He shouldn't be out in it."

"I know, I was on my way to go look for him," I said, trying not to look embarrassed. I couldn't exactly let Skips know it was me who had driven Rigby out.

I thanked Skips and turned to leave, when his large hand grabbed my shoulder. I turned my head to look back and that serious look almost had a tone of compassion.

"Look, Mordecai – I heard some of the stuff that went down between you two last night; these walls aren't as thick as you think. I'm not going to get into your business, but whatever beef you guys have needs to end, or both of you will be looking for a place to live. It's not a threat, but a warning. You know information travels fast around the park."

I swallowed hard but nodded in response, ashamed that Skips, or anybody for that matter, had known. "OK."

Satisfied, he shut the door and I was left back alone outside. Above me, I heard a boom of thunder erupt in the clouds, and it made me flinch a little. How could the weather change this quickly? It didn't matter, I had to find Rigby.

* * *

"Rigby!"

My voice was getting hoarse from the constant yelling I was doing, and I was getting tired from the cold wind constantly blowing through my feathers as I walked. I had covered about half the park in the less than a hour, and still no sign of him. I looked through all our normal spots: the snack bar had boarded shut, and the storage shed which held the classic arcade games we loved so much had been locked. I even asked Muscle Man, who had angrily told me he'd never let Rigby in his trailer before he slammed the door in my face.

I was running out of places to look and it was slowly dawning on me that Rigby might not even be in the park. If he was somewhere in the city it would take me all day to find him. I sighed at the thought, but forced myself to continue on. As there were fewer and fewer places to look, I tried to think positive. Maybe my search was coming to an end. Maybe-

_His secret place._

I almost broke into a run when I realized I hadn't checked the one place no one knew he went, except me. It was easily accessible but tucked away into the trees, so it was a decent place to shield yourself from the rain.

When I turned back and walked down the unmarked path, straying away from the main trail, I couldn't help but remember this is where all of this had seemed to start. The day I found Rigby crying to himself, he had angrily told me I had been the one to break him to that point, and it had hurt. Yeah, it wasn't a good feeling, but at the same time it never dawned on me that he was trying to really tell me something.

_Was I the ignorant one all along?_

Well, this time I would listen. I raised my wing to brush past the hanging, soaked branches in my way, several of them whipping right back into my face. I could hardly feel the sting; I was thinking of what I'd say to Rigby. Or really, what I'd let him say to me. I was ready to accept some truth.

I rounded the last large tree and the log was still there, though darker from its soaked bark. Sitting on top was a figure.

"Rigby!"

I felt myself run this time towards the log, an excitement washing over me despite the throbbing that had returned to my head. Finally, it was-

not Rigby. The figure was too tall to be Rigby, and this figure had darker fur than his. I stopped in surprise, frozen. Who would be out here on a day like today?

"H-hello?" I felt a nervousness wash over me. What if it was a psychopath?

_Don't get carried away._

The figure stood up straighter at my call, and turned his head. Realizing who it was, I couldn't help but let out a gasp, it was-

* * *

"Harvey!"

He smiled weakly, his sharp teeth gleaming, giving a small wave. I couldn't believe it, he was the last person I ever thought I'd see again, even though his advice back at the hospital had really made me think. He was sporting a black coat that gave off a shine, probably from the rain. He fur was matted down and unkempt, giving off a look that made him seem feral. But I knew better.

"Hello Mordecai," he said, returning the greeting. His voice sounded tired.

"Harvey, it's good to see you," I started, but hesitated. "But what are you doing here? No one comes to the park when it's freezing."

He let out a small chuckle. "The weather doesn't mean much to a man like me, I'm afraid. I've been coming to this spot for several years now when I need to think."

It definitely was a small world. I was hearing his words but hardly registering them. It wasn't impossible to see a stranger again, that was for sure, but something about it seemed really strange.

"I'm sorry if I startled you," he added, frowning. "Were you expecting someone else?"

I looked down then back up, nodding. "Yeah, I'm sorry. Remember my friend who I was visiting at the hospital?"

He nodded.

"Well, I think he's somewhere in the park, and I'm trying to find him. This is his secret spot, but I guess it's not that secret after all."

The wolf seemed thoughtful, then turned his body so he was now facing me. "Is he lost?"

I couldn't help but laugh softly. "No, we actually both work here at the park. He's...well..." I stopped, nervous. I couldn't just blurt out he was hiding, it would make me seem off.

"Well?" Harvey repeated, an eyebrow raised. I coughed, trying to think of how to word it.

_Cut the act. Harvey isn't stupid, and maybe he could help._

"Well...we got into a fight. And, well, he ran off last night because it had gotten pretty bad. I'm trying to find him as quickly as I can so I can just talk to him and make things right." I exhaled hard, but in an odd way getting the truth out was relieving.

Harvey rubbed his chin, in thought again. "You said he was a raccoon, correct?"

My eyes lit up. "You've seen him Harvey?"

My heart sunk as his shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. I'm afraid I haven't seen anyone since I got to the park."

"Dammit," I breathed. He could be _anywhere_. "Well, thanks for at least-"

I stopped myself, looking at Harvey. He seemed to be lost in thought, distant, like his body was here but his mind was somewhere else. Did I offend him somehow?

"Uh, Harvey, are you alright?" I asked softly, trying to catch his attention. At this, he shook his head as if he were trying to clear it, like waking up from a deep dream. He looked back at me, not smiling anymore. It took me a moment to realize there were tears in his eyes, making them glisten.

"I'd be a liar if I said I was," he replied, his voice barely a whisper. He coughed, and I could hear him fighting back whatever it was that was making him upset. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small old-fashioned watch, rusted with age. He fiddled with a small brass knob at the top, winding it with small clicks before placing it back in the pocket, hidden away once again.

"This was Jack's," he remarked, a sad smile crossing his muzzle. "Well, it was his grandfather's first, then his father's, then his. It's a family memento handed down through his bloodline. He treasured it for the sentimental value, despite it being so old and worn. He-"

Harvey sniffed and coughed, clearing his throat again. Why was he referring to his partner in past-tense? Unless...

A horror crept through me, spreading through my body in agony. Did he...

"The night we met and chatted, the nurses had paged me, and I had assumed he was being released. Well..." He looked to the sky, clearing his throat again. "Jack had suffered multiple seizures before they induced him with his usual medication. The seizures had led to a stroke, before they could stabilize him. When they had paged me, he was already placed into Intensive Care."

"I couldn't believe it, I couldn't force myself to believe it anyway. His episodes had been painful in the past but never that life-threatening. When they allowed me his room, he was a fragile thing with so many tubes in him I could barely stand to look. He must have been in so much pain, yet he managed to smile once he saw me. For him, I kept it together and smiled back. He couldn't talk but I talked to him to keep him calm, told him how much I loved him and that I'd be here once he recovered. He'd return home and I'd take care of him and make him well, just like always."

Harvey looked back at me. "Like always never came. He passed during surgery. His heart gave out and they couldn't revive him." His fists and teeth clenched. "I couldn't save him myself. I was useless."

"Harvey, I..." I didn't know how to comfort this man in front of me, or make it better. "I'm so sorry."

"Thank you, Mordecai," he said simply, wiping his face with a paw. "I understand what happened, it's just hard to accept. Jack was everything to me and I feel like half of me passed as well."

We stood there in thoughtful, sad silence. I felt so bad for Harvey, who seemed like such a good person. I had never lost a family member, but I could only imagine how awful it must feel.

_You might lose someone too, just in a different way._

"I find myself wandering the city to pass the time," Harvey noted, looking past me into the trees. "I find if I keep myself busy, it numbs the pain, just a bit."

I nodded. "I'm sure Jack...is somewhere, watching over you."

Harvey actually smiled softly at this. "I'm not a deeply religious man, but it gives me comfort to think about it like that. Without hope, why do we exist?"

_Good question. I wish I knew._

"Mordecai?"

I looked back up at him. "Yeah?"

"Be honest with me, since I was honest with you. Is Rigby...more than just your friend?" His eyes had a strange sparkle to them, shining brightly despite his remorseful face.

I swallowed hard. Why would he ask that?

"Well...I...I'm not sure. I'm honestly not sure how I feel about Rigby. I love him, but I don't understand what that love is, or how to define it to another person. It just feels like the right word."

He nodded, accepting of my answer. "Do you trust him?"

I thought of the last few months, everything he had gone through. Even after all of the events that had taken place, I couldn't name a single person besides him that I trusted completely. "Yes. Even when we're fighting, I do."

He nodded again. "Are you afraid of what people will think?"

"No, I-"

A pause.

"I guess...I'm afraid of what _I'll _think. Of myself."

Harvey looked amused, if anything, despite the sorrow he was obviously feeling. "And what do you think of yourself?"

"Right now I feel like I have nothing to lose," I replied, quietly. I felt selfish saying that in front of Harvey, but honesty was the topic at hand, and I wasn't going to break it.

"So if you feel like nothing else has worked for you, is there a path you haven't tried yet?" he asked, curiously.

_One I was avoiding._

I sighed. "There might be. I'm not sure at this point."

Harvey adjusted his coat and crossed his arms. "Whenever I'm not sure of something, I try something else. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. It keeps me what wondering 'What if?', and that's a horrible question to keep replaying in your mind."

I nodded in agreement. "I'm just thinking of the right way to go."

"That's up to you and you alone. If we all had maps of our lives the route would be easy and planned for us. Isn't it fun to explore though? To keep going when it's most hard? I know Jack would want me to keep traveling, and not waste what we had built together," the wolf said, giving me another smile. "Don't give up Mordecai. You're young."

"Thanks Harvey."

He stood up and wiped his coat idly. "You probably should keep looking for your friend. I feel like I need to keep walking anyway."

He offered me an extended paw and I shook it with my wing. "Thanks Harvey, for everything," I said, our gazes determined. "I hope things work out for you. I really do."

He nodded. "And you as well, Mordecai. Maybe I'll see you around the city now and again."

We broke the handshake and I gave him a smile. As I walked away from Rigby's...and Harvey's secret spot, back onto the main path, I had a feeling this would be the last time I'd see him again. It was almost like his work was done, and mine was just beginning.

* * *

I decided to go back to the house. Trying to search the city would only leave me exhausted and useless, and I figured Rigby would come home eventually. There was a tightness in my chest but I tried to ignore it, because I had to keep my cool. It felt like the day was far from over.

I was honestly relieved as I walked up the steps to the front porch. I would put my feet up and rest until Rigby got back, and maybe my

_(heart)_

mind would be in better shape. I sighed, opening the front door, which let out a steady creak. The living room was empty, which was fine with me. The pounding in my head had dulled, which was good, and I was looking forward to the comfort of our warm room. I walked up the steps, anxiety rising.

What would Rigby say? Would he even talk to me?

I'd try my best to make him. I stood in front of the door, gathering courage. When I opened the door, scanning the room, he was there. It wasn't too big of a surprise. But he was-

"Rigby, what are you

* * *

doing," I replied. "I feel like this is the best thing I can do to make things right."

Mordecai looked like he was stunned, though I couldn't blame him. I continued to pack what little possessions I had into a ragged, old backpack I used some time in high school. I had explained to him when I had gotten back to the house, he had been gone.

"Dude, if this is about last night, I screwed up. I'm so sorry, but I was just...messed up." He looked at me with pleading eyes, which honestly surprised me. I wasn't used to seeing Mordecai like that.

Still.

"I know you were," I said simply, and it was the truth. I didn't blame him for drinking. I didn't blame him for getting angry for breaking my stuff. I didn't blame him for hurting me. But I would blame myself if I stayed and caused him any more pain. I didn't want to hold him back, and keep him from living the life he wanted to live. I would just ruin his plans.

"Rigby, seriously," he groaned, holding a wing to his forehead. "I wanted to talk to you about everything. It doesn't have to be like this. We can go back to the way...things were." I could hear the hesitation in his voice.

"If we went back to the way things were, you'd be unhappy again." I picked up my cassettes I had stacked near Mordecai's stereo and threw them into the backpack, and saw my only tie in the closet and grabbed it, thinking of the date with Margaret I never actually went on. That seemed years in the past.

"You're my best friend and you're going to leave when we haven't even settled things?" I looked over and met his gaze. He looked angry, and hurt. I felt the same way, and every instinct inside of me screamed to put down my bag and do more reasoning and talking, but it just wouldn't work that way this time. Mordecai was a people person, and he would adapt and move on.

"Rigby...I..." It looked like he was going to say something important, like it was hard for him to get it out.

"What?"

"I...no, dude, it's nothing," he sighed. "If you want to go, then go. Maybe you should, for your sake."

_I guess I have my answer._

I checked over the room for anything I had missed, then set my bag over my the door. I looked back at Mordecai again and he hadn't moved.

"It doesn't mean good bye," I noted. "Just, so long for now I guess."

"Yeah," he dismissed it, gruffly. "If you say so."

"I have to go talk to Benson. He'll probably be happy to get rid of dead weight," I said. No response.

_Don't hate me, dude._

I closed the door behind me, and what felt like on my best friend.

* * *

Rigby had come to say good bye to me again, after talking with Benson. I was surprised there hadn't be shouting or screaming from our boss when I listened from the bedroom. In fact, I couldn't hear anything until I heard Rigby's footsteps came back up the stairs.

"Well, I'm officially free from the park," he had said, trying to get me to smile. It hadn't worked. Instead, I could only sit on the bed in disbelief as he grabbed his bag and flung it over his tiny shoulders. "Listen, dude, I seriously forgive you for last night, that's not why I'm leaving. It's-"

"You don't have to explain yourself," I interrupted, coolly. "If you have to go, then go."

He looked down, hurt, then looked back up. "You'll always be my bro, OK?"

I didn't reply.

Instead, he came up to me and offered his paw. "Bros?"

I hesitantly shook his hand with my wing, and it felt so strange being formal with him. "Hm, hm."

I watched him walk to the door, and he turned and waved an arm, before walking out and shutting the door behind him.

_He'll be back._

Later that night, as the sky grew darker, I realized I could be wrong.

* * *

_Bonus Step._

* * *

_Six months later._

* * *

**I begin to dream with barely open eyes tonight,  
a quiet melody, it sings to me, asleep I fall,  
with whispered songs of hope that come toward my ears and stick inside my head.**

"Oof!" I cried, tossing the last of the green waste into the dumpster, which was probably twice my height.

"Nice one!" Martin cried, "patting" me on the back, which almost sent me sprawling. I gasped for breath and he just laughed. The brown-feathered finch was pretty much a royal jerk and knew I sucked at taking punches, and took every advantage of that fact. There wasn't a work day that passed that I didn't get the wind knocked out of me in some way.

"Geez, thanks," I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes. I brushed my paws together to wipe off the excess grass shavings from the lawn mower, and sighed.

"Dude, I'm just having fun with you," Martin laughed. "Lighten up."

I grumbled and scampered off on all fours, away from that idiot. That was the last chore of the day and above the sky was turning a darker shade of blue, the sun getting lower and lower with each passing minute. My whole body felt sore and I couldn't wait to go take a bath, that is if the bathroom was available. I'd just have to get in there before everyone else.

Time passed slowly here, in this new town. I mean, it wasn't that far from my old city and old life, just a county over, but it might as well have been states away. I had chose this city at random...well, almost randomly. It had just as many shops, buildings and things to look at, so I figured I'd have the best chance of finding work here.

I didn't count on the fact that my work history, not to mention lack of people skills, would make it nearly impossible to find anything. I had passed this new park by so many times, refusing to take up my old profession. Eventually, it was my last option.

The park had almost an identical layout which kind of spooked me at first. When I traveled further into this new park, there was an almost identical rec house, looming in the distance.

The interview itself had been awkward.

"So, uh...Rigby is it? My name is Nelson," the jawbreaker machine had said, introducing himself, extending a metal hand. I shook it, in complete disbelief. Had the bus dropped me off in some parallel universe?

"Hey, Nelson, do you know a guy named Benson?" I couldn't help but ask.

"No, why?"

"Well...never mind," I actually had to muffle a laugh. With a strange expression on his face we continued the interview, and by some miracle I landed the position. Later I would meet Martin the finch, Hops the Bigfoot, and Gramps, an old man who claimed he was made out of licorice whips. It was almost like I had never left home, but it never felt exactly the same.

So anyway, I was here now, trying to make the best of it. I had always hoped for some kind of sign I was missed, but nothing came.

I sighed, and headed toward the house. I would microwave some burritos, try to get computer time, maybe-

"Rig-beeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

A shadow loomed in the distance, the opposite way of the house. I turned towards the call and frowned. It was bird-shaped, and waving.

_Leave me alone Martin._

I shrugged it off, and walked toward the house again.

"Rig-beeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Why couldn't he just leave me alone? I hated hanging out with him. I started for the house again.

_Just ignore it._

"You idiot, it's me!"

That voice. I knew it, better than anyone else's.

Was it-

**All that I believe and all I know that we can do,  
It begins again with day and it begins again with me and you.**

"Dude, Rigby! It's me!"

It was.

I hit all fours in an instant, running as fast as I could. The shadow became a figure with every step and got closer and closer, the black melting away into blue. The smile greeting me was like no other, and could never be replaced.

When I was close enough, I leaped, aiming for his gut. I hit him square in the stomach and we both fell over, laughing. I noticed, for the first time, the Colors were gone. Only his natural white remained.

"I can't believe you didn't recognize it was me, dude. It's only been a few months," Mordecai smiled, clapping a wing onto my shoulder. "You're such an idiot."

"Stop talking!" I half shouted, half laughed, and hugged him. He actually returned it, lifting me up a little. He set me down and we laughed again. There was so much to talk about, so much to say, but that could wait. Definitely.

**So let's be quiet and be still, and steal these peaceful hours all away.  
We'll claim the stars as ours, I know just where they'll be and what they'll say, they'll sing:**

We both got up and brushed ourselves off. "So, what's been up One Cheek Wonder?"

I let it slide; he could have called me anything at this point and I wouldn't have cared. "Why don't I tell you over coffee. There's a shop nearby that brews a mean bean, know what I'm sayin'?"

He nodded, grinning. "It's on you then, right?"

I punched him softly. "Fine, you cheapskate. Fine."

I wanted to know how he found me. I wanted to know why he came to see me. I wanted to know so many answers to so many questions, but something told me I'd find out sooner or later. After all, secrets weren't our thing anymore. We were irregular guys living in a regular world.

I could live with that.

**(Won't you sleep well, sleep well tonight.)**

_End._

_(Sleep Well - Mae)_

* * *

_And there you have it, ladies and gents, the end of 13 Steps. It was a great story to make my return on, I definitely missed and writing for pleasure, and I'm glad I finished it and followed through. The fact that you get attached to your characters and their universe is an understatement, and it's bittersweet. I hope you guys join me for my next Regular Show story, which will actually be a comedic tale of epic proportions (hopefully). Let's just say it's based on one of my favorite cult classics of the 90's. _

_Thank you so much for your support, feedback, and reviews. I sincerely hope you had just as much fun reading it as I did writing it._

_Until my next story, see you soon!_


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